Friday, February 29, 2008
Dating for Couples - Who Needs To and Why?By Maurice Clarke
Mention couples dating and many people's minds turn to the modern habit of swinging, or as it used to be known wife swapping, for sure a very minority activity.
In truth modern society has brought about a revolution in dating, that of couples seeking friendships with other couples. But why is this necessary, and who wants to do it and why you ask?
Couple dating is not a new idea, maybe you double dated a lot at one time, when 4 or more friends went out as two or three couples. Sometimes the date would be mixed with a few single friends too, a group date as it is often called.
Modern society is fast moving, people move about more and often loose touch with established friends, craving new friendships. Just because you are a couple, either married, living together, including homosexual and lesbian partnerships does not mean you are always fully content only with just each others company.
Singles dating on the internet has been popular for many years and millions of people are now believed to have met via online dating programs . However the need for matching couples is a smaller market place and there are limited web sites providing an efficient couples matching service.
What makes a good couples dating site?
New sites are always hard to launch as frequently free memberships attract unsavoury postings and give the site a bad name from the onset. Services who charge deter new members as potentially there are few members to match with. Many couples dating sites have failed as they offer international services whereas research shows that couples are more interested in people locally to their home and are unwilling to travel long distances or date internationally as many singles are.
It seems vital that new members are all vetted and approved by the operating web site, and a wide range of matching criteria are collected from the two parties in the partnership including;
# location by town, county or state
# age range
# religion
# hobbies and interests
# occupations, including the retired
# the type of relationship between the couple (married, living together, lesbian, engaged etc)
# a well written background to each couple
# photo of the couple or each partner
Singles web sites attract bigger numbers and individual vetting is impossible and, if the single site is free clearly uneconomic, hence single dating is a less safe place to seek a partner than the searching for couples to form friendships with. There is safety in numbers has never been more true than with couples dating sites.
Members can search and review prospects and ideally only communicate via a Personal Message Board, so that all personal contact details remain confidential. Later as the contact matures and a meeting is arranged both sides may feel comfortable enough to release limited contact details.
Members need to be able to block out contact with other members at anytime and report any strange requests or communications, which the site can investigate leading to suspension or cancellation of an errant member.
With a wide choice of potential couples as friends, and good control over who joins and how they conduct themselves online will ensure the success of some couples friendship dating sites, although clearly we shall see less around than the thousands of singles dating sites that exist internationally.
Maurice Clarke is founding owner of http://www.double-dinner-dates.com a UK based couples dating site which provides a range of options to find, chat and meet up with new locally based friends who share like interests.
Go To Loverian Home PageDefining The Limits of Friendship
By Daniel B Scott
The proverb, "There are always two sides to every coin." refers to the fact that there is more than one way to look at everything? From this concept you can create one of the main presuppositions of life; behaviors are not good or bad, rather they're useful or un-useful in the moment. People sometimes seem to forget that last part.
The fact is that every behavior is useful in the right situation. With the right point of view you can see how something that is limiting in one way can be rewarding in another. A common example of this is the goal of putting no expectations on people in a relationship. It's very true that it would be nice if we could live free of expectations - however, it doesn't work that way.
Some sense of predictability creates feelings of understanding, safety and control over one's life. This includes relationships. We have certain criteria to determine friendship and, whether we want to admit it or not, expectations and criteria go hand-in-hand. The criteria we have to identify a friend are what we expect from them. Some common criteria include things like trust, honesty, compassion, etc.
If we add the awareness that criteria can be ordered in a priority sequence then some things we can allow ourselves to be flexible on and others we can not. If a person dislikes a certain type of music upon meeting them, then setting that as an expectation in the relationship will "pigeonhole" them. That expectation is an un-useful limitation on the friendship because it does not take into account that people's preferences can grow and change with time. Concepts more important than taste in music, such as trust, we can be less flexible about because if a friend does something to lose our trust in them (such as lie, steal, abandon, hurt, etc.), then the dynamics of the friendship can change drastically.
Even though a person can recognize a behavior may be useful in a different situation - in the immediate circumstances it may be un-useful, resulting in damage to the relationship. Admittedly it's not so black and white; some behaviors may hurt you, however you'll accept that it was not done with malice, rather it was unintentional. When a person repeats that behavior in spite of the fact it harms the relationship then there will reach a point where "I'm sorry" becomes insulting.
With all this in mind the questions we want to consider are; Can you allow your expectations of someone to be flexible on the minor issues while still asserting your values on the real important points?; Can we accept that people change while still being careful that those changes don't go against our own highly valued criteria for friendship?; Is it possible to accept someone for who they are today and expect that things may change tomorrow, while at the same time, know that it's okay to expect certain core components (such as trust, honesty, etc.) will remain somewhat consistent?
Daniel Scott, Msc.D, NLP.T, RCHt.
Soaring Success Personal Excellence
Verbal Self Defense Tactics
Mr. Scott is a professional NLP trainer and coach from Victoria, BC. His background includes a degree in Metaphysical Science and certifications in Reality Therapy, Choice Theory as well as training in meditation and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Daniel is a Neuro Linguistic Programming Trainer fully certified by the University of NLP at the University of California Santa Cruz. His company, Soaring Success Personal Excellence Coaching, has been offering individual and organizational development coaching and training for over 7 years.
Go To Loverian Home PageTurn Friends Green with Envy, as You Constantly Have a Stream of Beautiful Women Around You
By Pushpa Pal Singh
So how would you like to become the man no woman can ever say no to? How would you like to become the one who scores big with all the beautiful ladies all the time? How would you like to be the one who others envy only due to your astonishing talent of attracting any and every girl at will? Well if you want to become all this can read on to discover some of the most mind blowing ways using which you can have any and every woman you desire...
Do what others aren't willing to do- You see the major problem most guys have in the society is the fear of approach. They fear rejection so much that they don't even bother approaching a random female and someone else goes and takes the advantage of the opportunity when they are left staring. You see the best possible way to get women is to start taking action. You see your first few attempts might not bring you any results but with time you would develop a strong sense of self confidence using which you will be able to get any girl you desire.
Become popular among them- Another best way to have a lot of girls around you is to become popular among them. The best possible way to do this is to become great with words. You see men who are good communicators always get women no matter what they look like.
Don't try to hit on them- You see another major reason why some men are never able to get anywhere with women is that they try to hit on them constantly. You see women get hit on a lot by a lot of men from all over the place therefore the trick here is not to hit on them rather just to start having a random conversation and take it from there.
An absolute must know for you- This secret is an absolute must know for you no matter what. This is the grand daddy of all which would give you the ultimate power to become a magnet towards which every woman would be attracted. This is only known to a few and you are one of the lucky one's who are being introduced to this shocking secret click here- Tell me the Secret
Go To Loverian Home PageAre You Afraid to Reveal Your Feelings? - Love and Abnormal Behavior
By Christina Sponias
If you are in love and you are afraid to reveal your feelings, there's a big chance that you may be too aggressive with the person you love, exactly because you are too afraid to reveal your weakness.
As a result, you are too cold with them and you don't help them in any way. Your behavior with them is not normal behavior. If they were any other person, you would not be so rude. As a matter of fact, you would not be rude at all, but kind and gentle.
However, because you are trying to hide your weakness in front of this special person, you are an iceberg with them, completely indifferent to their problems and pain. You never help them and never show any sympathy.
You are always afraid that they may interpret any kindness as a sign of weakness and conclude that you are dying of love. You are afraid that they will destroy you completely if they tell you that they don't want you.
Because you are so afraid, you are never kind and helpful with them as you would be if they were not so special to you. Because of your fear, you hurt them. You are aggressive, insensitive, distant, and selfish-in other words, the perfect monster. Of course you cannot inspire love...
How romantic! Instead of smiling and being kind, you are rude, cruel, and absurd.
Perhaps you imagine that "when you're finally together" you'll be able to make him or her forget this image completely. You imagine that "they will understand your weakness" and forgive you for your cruelty.
You may even try to test their reactions and provoke them with a lot of painful experiences, in order to see if they are going to abandon you or if they are going to find another flirt. If and if and if, until you're sure you can reveal to them the most secret feeling in the universe: the love you feel for them.
However, you are not considering a possibility that you should consider from the beginning: perhaps they won't wait to see the other, nicer side of your personality after seeing how cold and immature you are.
Of course, you have to also realize that there are a few intelligent people in this world who can understand the meaning of human reactions and who will discover your secret, only because you are being aggressive instead of kind and gentle, as you would be if you were not trying to hide your feelings.
My advice is this: if you cannot be normal, pretend you are normal on purpose. Do many normal things in a very normal way, even though you may feel horrible because you believe that you should not be so kind with that special person, since it is obvious that they are going to understand that you desperately love them and that they can kill you with their rejection.
Pretend that they are not this special person, but somebody else not so important.
This is the only way to avoid the neurosis that will certainly dominate you if you insist on being cruel and distant, simply because you want to hide your feelings from the person you love.
Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere. Learn more at: http://www.booksirecommend.com
Click here and download your copy of the Free ebook
Beating Depression and Craziness
Go To Loverian Home PageHow to Become The Guy Women Want to Fall in Love With - Make Them Chase You Down
By Pushpa Pal Singh
People often say that love is something which can't be planned it just seems to happen anytime anywhere. Well than what about the guys who get chased by women all the time and women want to fall in love with such men? You see if you have what it takes any girl would instantly fall in love with you. Read on to discover some of the most mind blowing ways on how you can become a guy women want to fall in love with...
Become successful in all areas of life- You see when you are successful you automatically become a natural people magnet. You would automatically start attracting any and every girl you please. You see the main thing is that successful people are highly positive in their way of living and over all personality. This is something which would attract any girl as people always try to avoid the negative and are often drawn to positive things in life.
Learn to respect yourself- There are not too many guys out there who respect what they are and what they do for a living. You see when you put yourself down in front of other people they start putting you down too and wouldn't give you the respect you deserve. Learn to respect yourself and you would automatically see people respecting and girls always run after men who respect themselves.
Be a gentleman who can treat a woman like a woman- Every girl desires to be with a man who can really make her feel like a female. Learn to act and be a true gentleman who knows how to treat ladies and you would automatically become a natural magnet any girl would want to fall in love with.
What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know
Go To Loverian Home PageSunday, February 24, 2008
Do You Feel Like Your Only Friends Are On The Computer?By CD Mohatta
Do you go to work and have your "public face" but then come home to an empty place? Do you find the only friends you have are on the computer? Do you feel lonely and wish you could change that?
Sometimes we don't see our own part in creating the very situation we don't want, but fortunately, when we finally do see it, we have the power to change our situation.
When we're lonely, the people who are around us seem like strangers and we may not feel drawn to any of them. Ironically, we don't go out and do things where we might meet people, because there is no one to go with. There may be people already near who have been trying to get to know us and feel we aren't letting them. We may think they're too geeky, too unattractive, too dull, and too different from us to be of interest to us, so we haven't been them a chance. But by altering a few of our habits and assumptions, we can start building wonderful relationships and in time, not feel alone.
Start by allowing others to get to know you, even if at first you don't have much interest in them. People can be quite surprising and some of the most amazing people don't look like much on first impression. Remember that most relationships need time to develop, especially the best ones. Even if you take a chance on someone and decide you don't like them after all, they may introduce you to someone you do like.
It's also a good idea to dust off your address book and make an effort to keep in touch with people you used to know, particularly if they live or work nearby. Perhaps like you, they just got busy or drifted away, but would welcome hearing from you. Because you already know these people, you are that much closer to developing good friendships.
It's also good to get away from your computer and go out and get involved in activities where you'll meet people in person. You could join a sport, volunteer, join a club, or take a small class. Try different situations until you find a social group that you like. The effort is well worth it.
Learn to invite people over to your place, too. You don't have to make it a big deal. Invite them over to watch movies or television. Find someone or a few people with whom you can cook a meal together once a week or once a month. Ask someone to help you with a home improvement project, or offer your help to him or her. Start waving to and saying hello to your neighbors and talking to them.
You can have richer connections with people if you're willing to give up some of your present habits. Not every person you meet will become a close friend, and it will take time to build friendships of value, but if you give it a try, you'll find your life will be quite different in the future.
Social network users, for adding layouts to your page click Myspace Layouts. You can also use Myspace Comments to comment your friends on any social network. For myspace backgrounds click Myspace Backgrounds
Go To Loverian Home PageDating for Couples - Who Needs To and Why?
By Maurice Clarke
Mention couples dating and many people's minds turn to the modern habit of swinging, or as it used to be known wife swapping, for sure a very minority activity.
In truth modern society has brought about a revolution in dating, that of couples seeking friendships with other couples. But why is this necessary, and who wants to do it and why you ask?
Couple dating is not a new idea, maybe you double dated a lot at one time, when 4 or more friends went out as two or three couples. Sometimes the date would be mixed with a few single friends too, a group date as it is often called.
Modern society is fast moving, people move about more and often loose touch with established friends, craving new friendships. Just because you are a couple, either married, living together, including homosexual and lesbian partnerships does not mean you are always fully content only with just each others company.
Singles dating on the internet has been popular for many years and millions of people are now believed to have met via online dating programs . However the need for matching couples is a smaller market place and there are limited web sites providing an efficient couples matching service.
What makes a good couples dating site?
New sites are always hard to launch as frequently free memberships attract unsavoury postings and give the site a bad name from the onset. Services who charge deter new members as potentially there are few members to match with. Many couples dating sites have failed as they offer international services whereas research shows that couples are more interested in people locally to their home and are unwilling to travel long distances or date internationally as many singles are.
It seems vital that new members are all vetted and approved by the operating web site, and a wide range of matching criteria are collected from the two parties in the partnership including;
# location by town, county or state
# age range
# religion
# hobbies and interests
# occupations, including the retired
# the type of relationship between the couple (married, living together, lesbian, engaged etc)
# a well written background to each couple
# photo of the couple or each partner
Singles web sites attract bigger numbers and individual vetting is impossible and, if the single site is free clearly uneconomic, hence single dating is a less safe place to seek a partner than the searching for couples to form friendships with. There is safety in numbers has never been more true than with couples dating sites.
Members can search and review prospects and ideally only communicate via a Personal Message Board, so that all personal contact details remain confidential. Later as the contact matures and a meeting is arranged both sides may feel comfortable enough to release limited contact details.
Members need to be able to block out contact with other members at anytime and report any strange requests or communications, which the site can investigate leading to suspension or cancellation of an errant member.
With a wide choice of potential couples as friends, and good control over who joins and how they conduct themselves online will ensure the success of some couples friendship dating sites, although clearly we shall see less around than the thousands of singles dating sites that exist internationally.
Go To Loverian Home PageHow To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - This Is What Every Girl Desperately Wants You To Know
By Pushpa Pal Singh
Do you know that girls fall in and out of love in an instant? This normally takes place when they didn't get what they expected at first. You see they might have felt very strong initial attraction towards a certain guy but with time they realized they made a mistake. You see nothing can be more depressing them getting rejected or getting dumped therefore you must be aware of these mistakes before they happen to you. Read on to discover what these mistakes are and how you can avoid them and make a girl fall in love with you...
Always be honest- Never hide anything from a girl even things about your part as no matter how much you might try to hide right now it's always going to be revealed at a later stage and at that stage it would come as a shock to her and she might end up dumping you. You see therefore it's better to tell her everything right now and women want an honest man not someone who fakes the whole deal.
Always be committed- Commitment lays the basic foundation of the relationship and without commitment you can never survive in the long term. Commitment is one thing every girl demands in her man therefore make sure you make a commitment right at the beginning or not make it at all.
Never make promises you can't keep- Now this is the major mistake most guys make with their relationships. You see girls want a man who is a man of his word and can stick to his promise until it's fulfilled. Therefore if you make a promise learn to stick to it.
What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know
Go To Loverian Home PageI Said I Loved Him - Why Did He Leave?
By A Aaron
Stop me if you've heard this story before...
Once upon a time, there was a woman who was particularly attracted to a man. They became friends, and her attachment to him grew and grew as time went by. She realized that as her feelings for him grew stronger, her insecurities grew with them. He was very friendly and open to her, but she couldn't tell whether he felt the same way for her.
Ultimately, she couldn't wait to find out - so she went out and confessed her love for him. He responded quickly. He returned her affection, and it was as though a beautiful relationship was blooming.
Yet as soon as it began, it faded. The man slowly became more distant, making her feel almost as though he was avoiding her. In the end, he stopped calling and seeing her. It wasn't long before she realized that she would never see or hear from him again. The end.
I could almost hear you trying to stop me midway through the story. I wouldn't be surprised - I've heard this story over and over from women who thought they were doing the right thing. Well, bad news - it doesn't work that way.
Don't lay out all your cards at once. It's wrong to think that you could convince a man to love you, or to think that he'll immediately return your feelings. Think about it - when a friend told you he liked you in a romantic way, how did you feel? Flattered, I suppose, but I'm sure you weren't that eager to return his feelings right away. At the very least, it was much too sudden.
True, the guy may play along for a while, but it's almost always because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. After all, you've been very good friends for quite some time - it would be very unmanly of him to just reject you outright. He's breaking it to you gently, but breaking it to you nonetheless. In the end, you'll just have to realize that it didn't work.
Take it easy - the best relationships happen naturally between two individuals. Nothing has to be forced, and the feeling has to be mutual in order for it to last. If the story mentioned above has happened to you, then my heart goes out to you - I hope that it's not too late to mend the friendship, and that next time, you'll know better.
Find out why men leave and what to do about it. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com
Go To Loverian Home Page3 Sure-Fire Methods To Touch A Women's Heart So Dearly She Will Be Gazing At You With An Open Mouth
By Pushpa Pal Singh
How would you like to become the man women simply can't think about leaving? How would you like to become the one she would like to spend the rest of her life with? You see there are very few men out there who truly know what women want and end up being the biggest girl magnets. But do you know that there are small tricks and secrets you can use right now which you help you achieve the same results as them? Read on to discover what these secrets are and how you can use them to achieve out standing results as well...
Make her happy every time she's around you- Do you have the ability to change people's moods? Do you know that you can make any and every person happy around you just by using little words? All you need to do is to give her nice little compliments once in a while and you would instantly see her run after you like crazy.
Do loving things for her- Do you know that even a simple rose can make a big difference when it comes to women? Anything present given to them lovingly change instantly change her mood and she would feel a very strong sense of affection towards you instantly.
Be there for her when she needs you the most- The major problem with our society nowadays is that we tend to go away from people especially in the time of trouble. Learn to take a stand and stick by them during this time. If you can be the man who will help her through her troubled times than there is absolutely no way she would ever think about looking at another man ever.
What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know
Go To Loverian Home PageWednesday, February 20, 2008
Friendship HungerBy Laura Lewis-Barr
In grammar school, I had the standard number of friends. In high school, my goal was to have as many friends as possible. The proof that I achieved my aim came the day I was elected "Pep Club President." This was strictly a popularity contest and I had won it!
Soon enough I discovered that having a large cadre of friends meant that I wasn't really close to any one of them. I didn't even really like some of them. Still, I was proud of the large numbers and did my best to circulate my attention to keep each alliance satisfied.
College is where I found my "true" friends. These were kindred spirits-we were dedicated to God and to each other. Now, in retrospect, I know that my interactions weren't the healthiest for me. I was prone to ignore my own basic needs and repress what I was actually feeling. Nevertheless, I remember these days with fondness. There was probably little real intimacy but I felt very close and secure. My fiancé and I were in a heartfelt community.
After my divorce, this "community" evaporated around me. In the confusion of my youth, I hadn't shared my struggles with most of my friends and they didn't understand my actions. After the divorce, I struggled alone, surrounded by shards of psychological debris. I moved to California on a quest for a new self. I also spent the next ten years making and losing friendships.
It was easy to make friends on the West Coast-many of the ex-hippies I met were quite comfortable with emotional intimacy and I was thrilled by the spontaneous sharing of strangers. Unfortunately I discovered that, in this land of expatriates and vagabonds, familiarity was easy but perseverance was less common. My new friends didn't have the same expectations. In their transient world, what was most important was to "love the one you're with."
After ten years, I moved back to the Midwest. I was astounded to discover that some of my old friends were still devoted to our bond. But each of us had changed greatly. What followed were our awkward attempts to bridge the gaps between us. We had to rediscover who each of us had become and negotiate our differences.
I find friendships to be a vexing problem. My hopes always run high and then I am either scared or disappointed (or both) by what I find. Granted, my standards are also quite high. To paraphrase Kahil Gibran, I don't seek friends with "time to kill" but with "time to live," that is, if I can't go to a deeply intimate (and safe) emotional place with a girlfriend, I'm not that interested.
There are so many hurdles to friendships today. When we get perturbed, it is too easy to retreat to our comfy homes, tvs, and computers. It also seems to me that after a certain age adults become more prickly and more prone to wonder deep inside: "what's in this for me?" We are much more armored and able to protect ourselves from truly revealing the child beneath our façade. And, of course, we are all so "busy." Given these obstacles, can adults ever hope to find new friendships that rival the life-giving bonds of our youth?
Laura Lewis-Barr is a writer, speaker, and trainer. She has taught and consulted at colleges in California and Illinois since 1991. Ready for another story? Visit Laura's new blog--storiesthatwork.blogspot.com.
For information on training or having Laura speak at your event, contact Laura at lauralewisbarr at Yahoo address.
©Lewis-Barr 2007. Please include entire contact information if reprinting this article.
Go To Loverian Home Page6 Ways to Be a Better Friend
By Melissa Roske
We've all heard the expression, "To have a friend, you've got to be a friend." But it's not always so easy, especially when something goes desperately wrong in a friend's life and you don't know how to handle it.
It could be something significant, such as a death or illness in the family; the break-up for a marriage or long-term relationship; or even dealing with a terminally sick pet. Or, it could be something small: a bad-hair day; a broken nail, a broken date or a broken promise.
Sometimes, it's hard to know how to react, or what to say. You don't want to come across as unfeeling or callous, but you don't want to say too much and risk sticking your foot in your mouth. So what to do? Here, 6 no-fail ways to be a superior pal, especially when the going gets tough...
1. Gone with the wind
The situation: Without rhyme or reason, your friend's long-term boyfriend suddenly leaves her - for a bosomy Pamela Anderson look-alike "glamour" model.
How your friend might be feeling: Hurt, humiliated, confused, heart-broken - and mad as a rabid pitbull.
What NOT to do: Tell her she's better off without the dumb schmuck - there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Instead, try this: Encourage your pal to vent her anger in a safe place. Sit and listen to her until the venom is out of her system. Then, when she feels ready, take her out with some gal pals for a margarita-fueled night on the town. She'll feel better soon than you can say, "Baywatch"!
And don't forget: Getting dumped under the best of circumstances can be a truly ego-deflating experience, so boost your friend's confidence by reminding her all of her wonderful, positive qualities (which do not need to include a cantaloupe-sized pair of silicone-pumped boobs).
2. If at first your don't succeed...
The situation: It shouldn't have happened, but it did: Your best friend's failed the Bar exam - again.
How your friend might be feeling: Like she's the biggest failure on the face of the earth.
What NOT to do: Remind her that failure is just a state of mind; that lots of people failed the bar and lived to tell the tale; that it was probably rigged anyway.
Instead, try this: Tell your pal that you know she feels terrible, but encourage her not to give up. She can always take the exam again, and she will do better the next time. You might also suggest working with her as her study buddy or offer to babysit her kids while she's at her Bar-exam prep class. The more pressure you can take off your already stressed-out pal, the better.
And don't forget: Your friend undoubtedly feels like a first-class failure, so help her realize that she's certainly not; far from it. After all, one failed exam - even if it's a biggie - does not a failed life make.
3. The long goodbye
The situation: After a long and generally happy life, your friend's beloved 89-year-old aunt passes away.
How your friend might be feeling: Like a rudderless ship. Lost; sad; inconsolable. Unable to get through the day or night without sobbing.
What NOT to do: Trivialize the situation by reminding your friend that her aunt lived a long and happy life - and that she was healthy throughout most of it. Or worse, remind your pal that she's not alone. In her mind, she is alone - very much so.
Instead, try this: Be emotionally available to your friend. Lend a shoulder for her to cry on; listen to her reminisce about her aunt, as painful as it may be. Let her know that she can count on you for moral support, whenever and wherever she needs it. You'll always be there for her.
And don't forget: Your friend is in the midst of coping with an earth-shattering event in her life. Let her talk if she wants to, but don't push it. She'll open up when she's ready. And if she needs extra support, do encourage her to seek the services of a professional grief counselor. Sometimes, it's the most effective way to cope. Also, if you knew her aunt, don't be afraid to talk about her - her razor-sharp sense of humor; love of cats; fondness for planting daffodils. While talking about her obviously won't bring her back, stifling feelings won't make the pain go away either.
4. Men (not) at work
The situation: A week before earning a long-awaited promotion, your friend's husband is "downsized" from his six-figure job.
How your friend might be feeling: Worried, scared and uncertain about her family's future; perhaps embarrassed about what her friends may think.
What NOT to do: Try to cheer her up with examples of other friends' spouses who were let go and then climbed up the corporate ladder, faster and more successfully than ever. Remember, each situation is different, so making comparisons isn't all that helpful.
Instead, try this: Be sensitive and take your friend's lead. When she needs a listening ear, provide it; when she needs tea and sympathy, provide that too. And while you don't want to give her false hope, there's nothing wrong with encouraging her to remain optimistic. Chances are that her husband will get a new job in the near future, so there's plenty of reason to have high hopes.
And don't forget: When a friend's family is going through hard times, your pal won't be her happy self - and she might also be strapped for cash. Therefore, you might want to keep that in mind during your next shopping trip, especially if you find yourself drooling over that Prada tote or pair of Jimmy Choo peep-toes.
5. End of the affair
The situation: Your best friend's suspicions were correct: After too many late nights at the "office," her husband is indeed having an affair.
How your friend might be feeling: Like she's just experienced the biggest disappointment - and betrayal - of her life. As if curling up and dying would be preferable to facing the "tsk-tsking" of her well-meaning pals.
What NOT to do: Avoid making nasty comments about her errant husband. Although it may seem like a swell idea to diss Mr. Can't-Keep-My-Dockers-On, if your friend ends up reconciling with the bozo (oops! her husband), you'll feel like the biggest jerk on earth.
Instead, try this: Be sympathetic and let your friend do the talking. If she asks for your opinion, try not to pass judgment. It may come back to bite you in the buttocks.
And don't forget: Your friend is in a vulnerable state right now, and she might have an extended family to deal with too. Tread lightly, and take her lead.
6. A friend in need
The situation: Your best friend is recently diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. Although her prognosis is excellent, she's been staying home, out of circulation, recovering her strength.
How your friend might be feeling: Scared; lonely; left out; depressed.
What NOT to do: Try to cheer her up by blabbing on and on about how things are in the "outside world." It will only make her feel more out of the loop than she already is.
Instead, try this: Make her feel as if she's still a part of things by filling her in on all the juicy gossip, while at the same time not making her feel as if she's missing out on anything too big. Later, when she's got her strength back and returns to her normal, everyday activities, she'll feel as if she hasn't missed much and can pick up right where she left off.
And don't forget: Your friend may be ill but she's the same person she was before she got sick. Reminding her of this fact might be useful, and incredibly uplifting.
Melissa Roske, ACC, founder of Wheels in Motion Coaching (www.WheelsInMotionCoaching.com), is a New York University-trained Life and Personal Coach, committed to helping her clients to achieve their personal and professional goals. Certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF), Melissa is also an internationally published author, advice columnist and relationships advisor.
Go To Loverian Home PageWhat Makes A Good Friend?
By Steve Hill
Which qualities would you expect a friend to have? Would you consider yourself to be a good friend? What constitutes a good friend? My name is Stephen Hill from Birmingham in the UK. I am now thirty-four years of age and it seems that the older I become the less true friends I actually have. Why is this? Is it because I am becoming less popular or is it because I am expecting more as I mature? In this article I will be attempting to answer some of these questions.
I expect a good friend to be somebody who I can depend on one hundred percent; if I tell them a secret or some personal information I would not then expect them to spread this, in the form of gossip, to other people. If I were in trouble I would expect to be able to seek help from a friend, mainly for advice and guidance but also for other types of help, for example a roof over my head.
A good friend is someone who is kind to me and does not try to hurt me in any way. They do not let me down by promising something and then failing to deliver. As an example to this is a friend who agrees to meet you somewhere and does not then turn up. They do not try and steal your girlfriend/boyfriend from you, quite the opposite in fact, they will be totally trustworthy in every respect.
As I have become older I have become quite harsh I suppose. I think that I am a good friend to other people and I set myself quite high standards in this regard. When I do not receive the same in return, I then start to become disillusioned with my so called friends. When I was younger I think that I let certain friends get away with things, it was like I was just grateful to have them as a friend. At this stage of my life I though it was important to have a lot of friends, nowadays I believe that quality rather than quantity is the way to go.
I hope that the people who read this article will realise what is required to become a good friend and that they can learn from it.
Steve Hill is a webmaster from Birmingham, he has interests in a number of websites including:
Stammering treatment
Cure for stuttering
Stuttering information
Go To Loverian Home PageLove Proposal With Aerial Advertising?
By Michael Arnold
So here is the biggest deal for all the lovers out there. Do you really love your class mate but you hesitate to tell her that you are in love with her. Let this part of job to be done by us. Just think of it, if you would have been in the place of that girl, will you have declined the proposal of your mate? No way.
Just think of it, the girl of your dreams is on the beach and you want to tell her how much that you love her. Will you follow the old tradition, like, "O! XYZ, you don't know how much I love you,"... and blah, blah, blah.This is the 21st century; this is the time to make some changes. Aerial advertising is the technique through what you can easily do that. You can write any message, "I love you ...!" or "Will you marry me ...?" and so on. This is how you can impress the person you love.
Let me explain to you how will works. Just tell me one thing. Have you ever heard a good presentation? No matter the deal is, if you are impressed with the presentation, you have a good chance that you will go for it. That is the case with this. Just consider if you are the girl in that place. Now the person who loves you is proposing to you with airplane advertising. Now just imagine the whole thing if your mind.
A man with a flower in his hand and a banner asking you a simple question in the air waving in the air just like it is really coming out of the heart of that person. Would you deny it? No way. Look at the presentation; it is awesome, isn't it? Yes, no matter you love the guy or not, you are going to be impressed with the cool presentation. Your mouth will not stop to say, "Yes XYZ, I love you too, and this was the moment that I was waiting for you to do". Go ahead and make a difference now. Go propose to her with this cool aerial advertising technique.
So the other thing you can use aerial advertising for is to say you are sorry. Have you ever had a quarrel with your mother or siblings and you are trying to say sorry to them but couldn't fine the right way to say it or you can't muster that huge amount of courage to say sorry? Now this is the time ... Through aerial advertising you can easily get this message across. You can say what you can't do with your mouth
Go ahead make a difference today, do this "never done before", presentation today. That would be cool; it works.
Banner towing services are available from many companies that specialize in this type of advertising. The Internet is a good source of information when it comes to choosing aerial advertising services.
Arnold Aerial Advertising is one of the many companies that provide such services. Located in New York, Arnold Aerial Advertising provides nationwide service with affordable rates.
Michael Arnold is the Director of Arnold Aerial Advertising Inc. http://www.arnoldaerial.com They conduct all forms of Aerial Advertising: NASCAR,Indy Car,Spring Break,Concerts, Conventions, Rush Hour Traffic,Football,Baseball,State Fairs,all Beaches,Parades,Cruise Lines,etc. and produce the custom banners as well.
Go To Loverian Home PageHow Can Couples Keep Love's Flames Burning Bright?
By Bradlley Mckoy
Relationships dull with the years, and marriage is no exception. Couples try to rekindle the romantic feeling that got them together to keep the marriage or relationship from falling apart. Here are some tips to keep love as fresh as the first day Eros struck your hearts.
Staying Together
Couples married for 15 years suddenly realize that their physical desire for each other wanes. They are caught up with the demands of daily responsibilities. Work, kids, bills, and sometimes the in-laws can cause trouble. Men try to recapture the feeling, alas, with other partners, halting the marriage to a painful stop. Women nag their husbands to take them out or pay attention to them, but it's all useless.
Some couples spend a night once a week just to find each other again. They go to the same places they have gone to, the restaurant where they had their first date, spend time with the same friends, and do all the same things they have done years ago. Sadly, these do not work out fine.
Staying married and saving a relationship do not demand that you do the same things over and over again. Trying to relive the magic, in the same background, is no longer a sure-fire way to rekindle romance. The same sad feeling is there when you wake up in the morning.
But there is hope for couples who genuinely want to stay together. Studies have shown that couples who share new activities and adventures are more likely to stay in love longer than couples who do not do things together or share new interests.
The Multi-Purpose Approach
While you're struggling to keep the embers glowing, you can always find a way to fan dormant feelings. Uncork champagne when you're together watching your favorite TV series, or uncap a bottle of your partner's favorite beer, cut heart-shaped cards and write sexy messages on them, or even just tighten a loose screw on her or his CD player. That's the way to keep mundane things perky.
Notice how divorced couples behave. They do new things with new partners. If they are not into a relationship, they try newfangled tricks to keep their adrenalin rushing. They find new things to do, new friends, and start new hobbies. It is an interesting world out there for them, after staying in a rut for years.
Take this cue; talk your partner to try new things with you. You can be outrageous for the fun of it. Together, sign up for ballroom dancing lessons, an art class, or learn how to go into business together. Meet new friends and along the way, pick up new ideas you can try. If you haven't gone to concerts, go out and dance.
Trying to stay together need not be dull, heroic, or schmaltzy. Have fun and everything will fall in their proper places. You'll be astounded at the transformation in your partner and in yourself. You'll have more engaging discussions, which is a key ingredient in any happy marriage or relationship. Soon enough, you'll find each other more interesting and attractive.
Recapturing the old magic is easy when you honestly agree to do more things together than just spending time watching Monday night football and worrying about kids, bills, and work. Life is short, so let your love live to the fullest. Keep love's flame burning bright until wrinkles and gray hair take up space.
Keep the flame burning with thoughtful gifts like a Cross pen for her or cufflinks for him. You can both invest in golf gifts and take up this new sport as a hobby together. Visit ExecutiveGiftShoppe.com today.
Go To Loverian Home PageFriday, February 15, 2008
The Importance of FriendshipsBy Julia Barnard
Recent research indicates people no longer have close friendships. However they are important to your happiness and wellbeing. Friends can offer you an important means of support. Also the support you can offer a friend can be highly satisfying and an important way to boost your mood. A friendship can bring important benefits to the both of you.
Focusing on your friends and relationships rather than material things or simple pleasures will reduce your feelings of depression. Friendships can boost mood, increase self esteem as well as easing stress and worries. Research at Flinders University has found that having close friends can help you live longer. In fact friends reduced the risk of dying by 22% over a 10 year period.
Your friends are there for you to share the good times with. Friends will be truly happy for your successes. Time with friends should be about doing things that make the both of you happy. It should not be about bringing each other down. If some of your friends frequently fail to offer support and sap your confidence and happiness, you may want to ask if they are actually your friend. Remember you can choose your friends. Make sure they have a positive influence on your life, and make you feel good about yourself.
Work to make time for your friends. Email them, phone them, write a letter or send a quick text. Try to arrange a time on a regular basis to meet up. Take the opportunity to phone them and ask how they're doing without dumping all your worries on them.
Do you want more friends? Join a group or class that you are interested in is a good way of meeting people. Chatting in online discussion groups can provide you with friends throughout the world. Else you could get yourself a pen pal. Your friends can live all over the world.
You do not need hundreds of friends. A handful of people you can rely on and trust is plenty so don't feel what you have isn't good enough. Remember: don't take your friends for granted; make time for them and nurture them.
Copyright Julia Barnard 2008 Julia Barnard is a professional counsellor living in Adelaide, Australia. She provides an online counselling service through her website http://www.makethechange.com.au. Julia also writes articles for the website aimed at enhancing wellbeing and promoting good mental health. |  |
Go To Loverian Home PageMale-Female Friendship
By Bakshinder Singh
The Indian culture is yet to come to terms when it comes to friendship between a Male and Female.The initial reaction is that of a wide eyed hawk looking for a scoop in it. Although, we have shown tremendous growth on social and economic front however our minds are yet to respond positively to this relationship. In the West, which is a yardstick for many of us, the friendship is just viewed as a greater and comfortable interaction between two persons. It does not matter much whether the concerned people are both males both females or male and female. I think we need to awaken up to this reality of life where this kind of friendship needs to be viewed with a positive frame of mind.
All our mythologicals have mostly mentioned about the friendship between males only. So, this mentality owes its inception to this period.The changing times could hardly reverse the trend. The male dominated society continued to guide the destiny of the people with this mentality. It's a fact that most of the kings had a harem of women for their pleasure but we are yet to come across one queen who had this kind of facility for her.
Anyway, we are not advocating the need of harems but highlighting the need for positive and healthy friendship between male and females. Following wrongs doesn't make us right so whatever wrongs we follow needs to be amended. Even the Indian constitution since its inception has recorded several amendments. So why cant the society change its line of thinking? It is needed.
Unlike the mythological age of kings, the men need to be more tolerant, understanding and have a broader perspective of life. If a female member of the family is friends with a male member there is no need to bring the house down. Just as men like to have friends similarly it is the requirement of females. If we don't accept this harsh reality of life, we shall be in trouble sooner or later.
Newton, the great scientist, needs to be complimented for realizing this while jotting down his laws of motion. He says "To every action there is equal and opposite reaction"and we find this being followed in daily life today. A gal today wants to know that if her male member of the family can have a female friend why cant she have a male friend? Logically, she is correct. If you want her to follow you don't do any indecent thing so that one can hold his head high while preaching others.
The root cause of this is our sick minded mentality which views the women as an object of sex only. We tend to forget the love, warmth, affection, care, glamor, decency, patience, kindness, gerosity etc she brings with her. On the other hand, men are capable of contributing by way of adventurism, enthusiasm, calmness, and ability to handle all odd situations, giving the feeling of protectiveness to women etc. Don't we feel if we sum up all these qualities we can have a complete human being who would be an asset to any society at any time?
Male female friendship goes beyond the physical attractions. I feel its an individuals perception of viewing a situation. A half glass of water is half empty for some and half full for others. In other words its the way of looking up to situations from different angles. I have known some people who during the course of their work struck decent, meaningful, satisfying mutually beneficial friendship with the members of opposite sex. They love, adore and cherish it . How can such a friendship be put to acid test and tell me one person on earth who would not like to cultivate this kind of friendship? I think the evil minds need some repairs by jolting with heavy hammers in the head. I hope they don't die during this activity.
A male getting attracted to a female and vice versa is nothing new. Its a natural phenomenon.The laws of magnetism have clearly spelled them." Like poles repel each other and unlike poles attract each other". Moreover, look how anxious one is while waiting for a friend of opposite sex over a cup of coffee and some delicious meal. I don't think the coffee or the meal contribute much to their happiness than just the feeling of togetherness. They tend to put on the best of behaviors, the best of dresses to impress each other. The tensions of this modern world are released through this outlet and discussions are mostly constructive. All things are done decently because thats the basic requirement.
Go To Loverian Home PageMake New Friends! Five Simple Steps for Women of All Ages
By Dawn Bertuca and Tina Bishop
Need some new women friends? You're not alone. "How to make new friends" is a universal dilemma among women. Happily, the seeds of new friendships are everywhere! In this article, you'll find five simple steps that help you notice friendship opportunities and cultivate them into great girlfriend relationships. With a little effort, you'll end up with a beautiful garden of gal pals that will see you through all life's stages.
1. Understand Why Friendships End Recently, we heard from a reader named Stephanie: "I am looking to make some new friends. It seems as if I may have outgrown my longtime girlfriends or vice versa. I moved from a small town to the city and I am beginning to notice a distance between me and my friends. Any advice would be appreciated." Stephanie's story is common. Life changes such as moving to a new city, getting married, or having children can take a toll on friendships that are not well-established. In addition, different stages of life create the need for different kinds of friends. It's natural for some friendships to end. But many friendships with great potential fizzle out for one simple reason: The girlfriends haven't spent enough quality time together to strengthen their bond. Maintaining a friendship, particularly in the early stages, takes time. If you haven't done the homework, your friendship won't survive the test.
2. Scope Out Potential Pals Have you heard the old saying, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince?" Well, you have to talk to a lot of women to find a girlfriend! Look at this as a numbers game: The more women you get to know on an "acquaintance" basis, the better chance you have of finding someone with whom you'll "click." Make small talk with the women you meet. If you are shy or just out of practice, this can seem excruciatingly difficult. Following these suggestions can make it easier:
- Compliment someone. "Nice shoes! Where did you find them?" is an easy way to start a conversation. Everyone likes a sincere compliment.
- Ask a question. "Is your son/daughter signed up for preschool in the fall?" or "What do you think of that book you're reading?"
- Join something. Become involved in a church, a book club, your local Red Hat Society chapter, a mommies group, a volunteer organization, pottery lessons, or an exercise class. Being around people in an organized setting offers some built-in conversation starters.
3. Take Friendly Action After you've identified some potential friends, it's time to make a small gesture. Send a birthday card. Invite her out to coffee. Bring food to a new mom. Don't be shy; you'll need to take this small risk to let her know you're interested. Then, you can move into the next phase of friendship, the phase Sandy Sheehy, author of Connecting: The Enduring Power of Women's Friendships, calls "structuring." This is where you learn about each other's boundaries, likes, and dislikes and figure out what kind of friendship you'll have. In order to do this, of course, you'll need to spend time together. Sheehy says activities such as shopping, seeing a movie and discussing it afterward, or reading the same books are helpful at this stage of a friendship because they allow you to discover each other's attitudes and find some common ground. Some friendships never move beyond this level, remaining casual, and others end at this stage. And that's ok.
4. Spend More Meaningful Time Together Sheehy says girlfriend relationships naturally strengthen if the women spend enough time together, are honest with each other, support each other equally, and each one feels she is getting something from the relationship. She gives some other tips for strengthening the friendship:
- Share adventures. See a concert together, go hiking or antiquing or take a trip.
- Gifts, especially unexpected and meaningful ones, reinforce the girlfriend bond.
- Be a good listener and be sure you're both getting equal time to "vent."
5. Make Friendship A Priority If having girlfriends is important to you, you must make time for it in your busy schedule. Make friendship a priority in your life. Commit to making two phone calls a week, or extending one invitation a week, or whatever you need to get the results you want. Be consistent and don't give up. Remember to expect some rejection. Not everyone has room in their lives for new friends. That's not your fault. At the same time, be willing to take some risks in your quest for new girlfriends. Tell yourself you've got nothing to lose, and the lifelong benefits of female friendship to gain.
Additional Reading Want more tips on making and keeping friends? Check out these books:
- Living a Connected Life: Creating and Maintaining Friendships that Last a Lifetime, by Kathleen A. Brehony
- The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're not a Kid Anymore, by Marla Paul
- The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections, by Roger Horchow and Sally Horchow
Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop are cofounders of http://www.GirlfriendCelebrations.com a blog-style website that publishes complete, easy-to-execute party plans for girlfriend get-togethers. Join the party by subscribing to our email list at http://www.girlfriendcelebrations.com/subscribe.php You'll be notified every time we publish a new girlfriend party idea! As experts on female friendship and girlfriend party planning, we have reciprocal relationships with several women-oriented websites and welcome media inquiries.
Go To Loverian Home PageAre You Really in Love? Discover Earth Shattering Ways to Find Out Whether You Are Really in Love
By Pushpa Pal Singh
Have you been having these strange feelings lately towards someone but don't know what they are? Are you having a hard time trying to figure out what exactly you are going through? Well if it is a feeling you don't know the meaning to than it might be love but in some cases its mere anxiety or excitement of meeting someone. You see there are some perfect ways to figure out whether you are truly in love or not. Read on to discover some of the most mind blowing ways to figure out whether you are truly in love or not...
You can't seem to relax- Is it that you find it extremely hard to relax and you get these weird feelings about that special someone? You find it hard to sleep at nights and nothing interests you but the thought of that special person? Well if this is what you are going through than you are in love.
Are you still thinking about him or her? - Love is such a feeling where you simply can't stop thinking about that special someone no matter how hard you try. You see that person would dominate your thoughts morning and nights and you would find it extremely hard to concentrate on anything else but that person.
Do you get happy feelings thinking about that person? - Do you get real exciting or happy feelings when you think about that person? Does the very thought of that person bring a smile to your face? Well if this is the case than you are definitely in love as the one we love makes us happy the most and at the same time hurts us the most too.
What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know
Go To Loverian Home PageIs Love Enough?
By Susan K. Morrow
I am very big on loving yourself. With my clients, with my friends, and with my daily attempts to improve my own life, "Love yourself" is among my top commandments. It is my firm belief that always (or almost always) putting yourself last is not a good way to show yourself LOVE and can, in fact, lead to illness or injury.
I have some NEWS about that, something that is just as important as loving yourself. But more on that in a minute.
First, let's look at the self-love issue, one that I believe is critical to your physical health. It seems to me that all this heart disease and breast disease in women is directly related to a LOVE problem, notably self-love and divine love.
If you're a mom, you have no doubt read or heard at some point in your motherhood that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your children very well. Usually, that is said about your physical health, sometimes about your emotional health.
But your spiritual health is critical also. Loving yourself can include physical things, such as exercise, and emotional things, such as going to therapy, but you can also take care of yourself spiritually.
How?
. Spend 5 to 10 minutes a day in meditation.
. Read books about spirituality.
. Go to church, if you find that feeds your spirit.*
. Sing.
. Get a massage.
. Count your blessings.
(*Caution: Some religious participation can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, loss of self-esteem, and fear of what happens to your eternal soul.)
Loving yourself is great for you and for all those you love. So what else can you do?
I received this information not long ago during meditation and it goes hand-in-hand with loving yourself. Here it is: RECEIVE LOVE.
How many times have you turned down an offer to help you or even a compliment? "No, thank you, I've got it." We are taught that, right? To be modest, not to be greedy, to put our needs last.
It can be difficult to say, "Yes, thank you," but it's crucial that you learn to do it. Your spiritual health depends on it! And by association, your physical health, as well. You may not even realize how often you turn love away--from your spouse, your parents, your children. Maybe you also allow a lack of love for yourself--does your partner say "I love you", if that's important to you? Does he or she treat you the way you want to be treated?
You are WORTHY of great treatment, of love, joy and abundance. You are God's perfect child.
So LOVE yourself, LOVE others, and RECEIVE the love that comes to you!
Susan K. Morrow is a psychic medium, medical intuitive, and spiritual teacher based in Austin, TX. In her practice, she provides readings and coaching for individuals and groups across the country and around the globe, helping people learn about the ways of the Universe and the ways of their own lives. She is especially interested in helping women learn about loving themselves and enjoying greater health and happiness. To get Susan K.'s free report, "12 Woo-Woo Tips You Need for Living in the Real World", visit http://www.SisterMystic.com
Go To Loverian Home PageSunday, February 10, 2008
Tests Of True FriendshipBy Jennie Gandhi
In life one meets and makes many friends. Some remain acquaintances with whom we share pleasantries. Childhood friends mature and remain for life or are not traceable. Fair weather friends are the ones with whom we can party or watch a movie, exactly for the sake of company.
True friendship proves for itself with life's situations. One can make friends at any age. Marriage too is about friendship and so is rearing kids. Ever felt that sudden desire to call your best friend to tell him/her about the new child in the family? Did you felt better after crying over the phone and talking to your friend about some silly problem? Elated feelings and sadness needs to be shared.
A friend corrects you when you wear the wrong make up, compliments you at that writing skill you have, encourages you when you try out a recipe (ignoring the excess salt) , cares for you by walking the extra mile, takes you to a movie sensing you are amiss and is strict with you when you go overboard. These are the tests of friendship. As you sit in solitude, look at your fingers and count your friends, you will be amazed to find only a few.
Friendship does not restrict itself to rules of gender, age, class or distance. The inclination to communicate is essential. Holding grudges and taking pot shots only spoils a friendship. One also needs to be magnanimous by accepting the short comings of a friend. This is a major adjustment and accepts a friend as he is. Suggest but do not expect him to comply with your standards.
There is only failure when one tries to be a please-all. Compromise but also effectively clarify. When one projects an unfazed exterior and in mind goes through a gamut of negative feelings, that friendship will be short-lived.
Not by money, looks or time, but by truth is what friendship grows. In present times where one is exulted by career progress naturally there occurs a paucity of time. Excuses stem from this and many a friendship silently die. The ultimate aim of life is to be 'happy' and materialistic products offer very short shelf-life.
Make time for a pet, your child, your spouse, and never forget to make a friend feel special. You may have missed the birthday but be there for a friend when the path is not even. Giving a shoulder to cry on is a temporary support, Be solid like a rock to tide away the storms that test your friendship.
Go To Loverian Home PageFairy Tale Friendships
By Lyn Diaz
I recently met with a friend, in person, to have coffee and discuss business ideas. How crazy was that?
Not born into the technology age, I am fascinated by sites such as my space, e-harmony, bloggers, etc. A lot of friendships today seem to resemble the fairy tales my grandmother used to read to me. Once upon a time, someone posted a picture on a site. We don't really know if it was truly them or a body they scanned and then pasted their head on top of it. Yet we get involved in the game of finding internet friends. We share our deepest concerns, our hopes, our financial situations to total strangers but we don't even introduce ourselves to the neighbor next door.
The written word carries so much weight with it. A total fabrication can seem so real in black and white. Yet the internet is used without regard to any emotional consequences.
We complain about the number of unsolicited e mails that we receive. Yet we continue to shop on line rather than go to the store, interact with others and examine the quality of the product we are looking to purchase.
We all want a job enabling us to work from home rather than get up, get dressed professionally, drive to the office and put in a full days effort for a full days pay. How are we supposed to start new business relationships? There probably is a proper internet handshake that I don't know about. I am still of the misconception that I want to at least meet the person entrusted with my life savings.
On several occasions, I have suggested that my husband and I just drop by to visit another couple. He insists we call first. It's not a doctor's appointment. It's just letting someone know that they are worth 15 minutes of your time.
The politicians spend millions of dollars for a chance to go out there and appear to be regular people. They love to shake hands and kiss babies. They even pretend to be concerned about our every day challenges to win votes. I am not sure what happens once they ge