Loverian

How Not To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

2008-04-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

By Anna Lorraine Miranda-baysa

Is it possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex and not be romantically involved with them? The answer is yes. Stereotypically, we may think if a guy and a girl spend time together more than they do with their other friends, then something more than just the usual friendship is going on between them. But in a world of so much open-mindedness and equitableness, that is our world, this no longer needs a powwow.

Here are some tips that I find useful since my best friend is also a guy. He gives me all the reasons to fall in love with him, since he is so the ideal type, but I try my best to always have my counter strikes. I choose not to; I want not to.

1. START YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH THE END IN MIND. It is important that you, on the very onset of your friendship, set your mind that your best friend will always be your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. The 'mind over matter' rule could still apply. Make a personal rule that it is forbidden to entertain any thoughts regarding your best friend being your ideal partner, or else, you will always hold on to that mental note and eventually, label him as an ideal partner not as a best friend. Whenever your mind accidentally crosses that line, shake it off as soon as you can.

2. CHOOSE NOT BE ATTRACTED. It is normal and sometimes inevitable to be attracted to your best friend. But of course, you have become the best of friends because you have seen qualities in each other that you find fascinating or plainly, attractive. So, don't feel so bad or sheepish whenever you feel attracted but learn to go back to reality. Whenever you see his best side, humorously divert your attention to his worst side. It helps. From being the good looking, almost perfect best friend to his eccentricity of burping like a frog, or farting like a pro, if there is such.

3. VERBALIZE HOW YOU SEE HIM AS YOUR BROTHER (OR A SISTER IF YOU'RE A GUY!). This is again for your own sake. It is to season your mind that there is a red line between liking him and loving him like your sibling. Call him brother all the time. Associate him with your real brother, if you have one. Having a male best friend is so special and gratifying, because you could always ask him a male's point of view regarding anything, for free. It is expedient to run to him for an advice regarding your personal issues, whether this is regarding your relationship with other people, or sometimes, economic issues, to draw the line that he is, indeed, your brother who could help you, even in the most non-romantic ways.

4. BE EMBARRASSED WITH THE POSSIBILITY. I suggest that you keep the cattiness, at least, just to not fall for your best friend. Just imagine how he could totally turn away from you, 360 degrees, if he finds out you are engrossing yourself with imaginations of things friends are not supposed to do. Well, technically, I would not know how on earth will he find out that he is involved in your phantasm, but just imagine how awkward would that make him feel that at some point, you have envisioned him being idealistically linked to you, in not so wholesome manner. Imagine how that would make you feel, too!

5. FINALLY, CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM AS YOUR BEST FRIEND. Personally, I could give my life for my best friend. I could give anything for him. There were moments when I would actually ponder if I was attracted to him in some other ways or if it was more of being overwhelmed that I actually have a man in my life who cares and loves me like his own blood sister, even if I am not his family. That is just way too much of a deluge sometimes. A man who is so good to you and so believes in you like no other men do. Minus all the sexual thoughts and intentions. That is, let me say it again, overwhelming, nowadays.

I was inspired to write this because honestly, I have been bothered by my having a guy best friend. Not really bothered by the relationship itself but how people around us see it. He would tell me how his brother asked him if he ever courted me, or how his father would sometimes throw wisecracks at him regarding me as his just friend, or how my sisters would tease me every time I mention his name. I chose to be his best friend and that's what forever I will be. Again, it is a decision, not merely an emotion. The fact is, he is everything that I would like my eternal companion to be- brainy, expressive, outspoken, artistic, hilarious and pompous, in a good way...but he is my best friend. For once in my life, I was able to find a very solid friendship founded on trust, confidence and love and I do not want to, even if this is just speaking theoretically, to ruin this one precious, oh-so-good-thing that I have with him, just because of my dopey and mindless self-professed feelings. Never. I know in my heart that both our intentions towards each other are always, chaste and objective. I will never ever fall in love with my best friend.

I have always been taught to keep a journal. Having and keeping one will always give us the freedom to write all our emotions, both pleasant and not. These real-life experiences that we go through everyday are the best teacher, far better than any other self-help books or the most acclaimed movies. The learning does not just stop when you write them, it continues when you share it with other people. We are our own authors. Let's all write our stories well.

Anna Lorraine Miranda-Baysa is a 30-year-old mother of two and currently lives in Makati City, Philippines. She has been a constant journal-keeper for more than a decade, thus, enhancing her love for writing feature articles. She had served as a Features Editor in high school, a Contributor in their college schoolpaper as well as in their Church Institute Newspaper. Other than this, she worked as a disc jockey/ newscaster in a local radio station for five years. As a fledgling writer, she would like to concentrate on topics of Photography, Motherhood, Friendship and Love. She is currently working on her very first novel,too.

Models of Friendship

2008-04-04T23:11:00.001-07:00

By Jacques Lacombe Bouchard

"What do you look for in a friend?" is a question I routinely ask new friends of mine as I get to know them. The answer's always been the same: "I just want someone honest, funny, trustworthy" and so one- the regular laundry list of positive traits. I've begun to believe that this isn't entirely true. People are friends with others that they don't trust at all sometimes. They're also friends with boring people and people who have nothing to give at all. And sometimes people who have everything to give simply do not work out. I believe a friendship is a partnership, and that there is an interchange involved in most friendships.

Ten Different Types of Friendship

1. Friends of mutual need: Some friends serve specific metaphysical needs. Some Many people have a gap in their life in which they need to either give or take to fulfill something personal. By giving, they justify a trait they value in themselves and would like to ascribe to. By taking, they are able to fill a need. Some friends are able to both give and take with one another, which creates a lasting friendship for as long as relevant needs arise. When nothing is being personally fulfilled in the friendship, it can begin to drift away.

2. Friends of leisure: These friends have agreed to join in and keep one another company when they're having fun. They enjoy their external behaviors and/or appreciate some talent of their (poker skills, sense of humor, sexual entertainment, taste in movies, etc.) These friendships do not usually include deep attachment.

3. Functional friendships: These friends are convenient to have. They could be a roommate who you get along with but would never know outside of the situation, a friend who can help during an event, or someone with whom you trade computer repairs for an oil change. Whatever the scenario, you share a mutual and shared beneficial agreement between yourselves.

4. Friends of past experiences: Sometimes a friendship is formed primarily because both friends have "been through so much together". This friend knows a great deal about their live, they have many shared experiences, or they have shared so many emotional gifts together that they've either become so comfortable or so "stuck" with each other that causing the friendship to end would involve someone being hurt. These friendships form artificially fast on sites like LiveJournal and MySpace, where leaving a friend is a formal step and impossible to do without an announcement.

5. Romantic friendship: In this situation, one or both friends sees the other as a potential romantic partner. This can also apply to people who would never actually get into a relationship but nonetheless harbor fantasies about. These friendships can sometimes be very real and long lasting. Since these people want to grow closer, they open up and become as close a friend as possible to keep the door opening more and more. They are usually on their way to either ending or evolving, but they can sometimes translate to perpetual flirtation.

6. One-sided friendships: One friend is being used by the other. This can be for money, services, a career advantage, sex, information, a tactical social stance, living space, etc. I would include in this situations where the need of the other individual (such as loneliness) is deliberately being manipulated. These relationships are generally unhealthy unless the one being taken advantage of is perpetually oblivious.

7. Professional Friendship: This is a friendship formed between someone in a position of authority (such as a teacher, psychologist, or boss) and a student, client or subordinate employee. These are friendships where a power relationship and the threat of "unprofessional behavior" form a permanent and measured distance between both individuals. These bonds can be very intense and important to both parties, but they are necessarily limited by the boundaries they were created in.

8. Arbitrary friendship: These are friendships that are formed entirely impersonally simply by one aspect of that person's character. Examples include women sticking together, two individuals who both came overseas from Madagascar to the USA and befriend one another, prisoners showing solidarity with fellow prisoners, or the Christian concept of fellowship.

9. Relationship friendship: As opposed to relationships where women are subordinate to men or a relationship of sheer physical or monetary attraction, this is a relationship where friendship has been formed. This connection goes beyond love and includes a sharing of values, senses of humor, appreciated pastimes, and interests. The physical familiarity of these friendships and the pretense of love can make this a friendship in which much can be assumed and there are few boundaries.

10. Intellectual friendship: This is a friendship where there is little by way of shared values or interests, but both parties find the other philosophically or intellectually interesting. Such is the relationship shown in the movie "Silence of the Lambs" between Hannibal and Clarice, but it's also shared by any pair of people who are mutually fascinated by the other's knowledge and/or background.

It's a nice idea to think that all friends can be perpetually kept, but realistically friends will naturally move in and out of one's life. People tend to ambiguously feel their way through these relationships unless they're particularly unhealthy. What I find in this, however, is that I'm not making space for those in my life who are most important.

Jacques LaCombe Bouchard
http://lacombe.livejournal.com
barney9651@yahoo.com

What Would Love Do?

2008-04-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

By Francis K Githinji

The state of being in love sometimes triggers different emotions and behavior in a person. Love has a capacity of transforming a person overnight due to hormonal changes which influence the way a person feels. But what would love do? Love can break your heart to pieces. If expectations in a relationship are not met hearts are shattered to smithereens. Love is not a simple issue. It is full of complexities and absurdities. When two people are in love they develop a bond that is sometimes hard to break. They feel they are one. They are usually so much into each other and they get an impression that they cannot stay without each other. When such strong love is betrayed, the heart break is enormous. It takes a long time in order to recover from it. It is love that has broken a heart.

Love can kill if you didn't know. It creates jealousy in the heart which is formidable. It becomes worse when it is a love triangle. A woman decides to court two men at the same time but without their knowledge. These woman many times is a wife of either of the two men she is sleeping with. This is cheating in simple words but it turns tragic when the husband discovers that his woman has another lover. Jealousy combined with anger leads to a violent confrontation between the two men. They want exclusive rights for the love and affection of this one woman but what would love do? The fringe lover is killed! The most dangerous thing in relationships is sleeping around with people's wives. You hurt their husbands big egos forcing them to scheme behind your back.

Well intended love cares. True love brings two people together and they feel as one. It harmonizes their lives where they feel so indebted to each other. They always wish the best for each other and pay a keen interest to the happenings in each others lives. Whatever that happens in their lives affects and influences the relationship either positively or negatively. They are bosom friends and they would sacrifice anything for their partner. But what would love do? It brings them closer. They care for each other so much. It would be heart breaking to see either of the partner suffering. They would go to any length if it is for the sake of the relationship.

Love sometimes is an ambiguous term and in any case what would love do? Love perseveres any tribulations, it is comforting and accommodating. Love has a tendency of taking a gradual growth which is deep rooted. It is able to withstand any upsets and withstands nerve raking storms as they come and go in every day life. Love overlooks human weaknesses and faults in a person. It has a capacity of accepting a person as he or she is if only for the sake of love. Their is nothing as comforting in this world as the knowledge that a person loves you. The mere knowledge that you have a person who can listen to you. A person who would offer a shoulder to lean and cry on.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project What would love do Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At What would love do

Is True To Say That Love Comes and Goes?

2008-04-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

By Francis K Githinji

Everything that has a beginning must definitely have an end. When it comes to love, the grave puts a period to a love shared and cherished for a long time. But this is not the case nowadays. Love has become like a passing wind, temporary. Is it true that love comes and goes? A strong and powerful attraction which is perceived to be love turns out to be the complete opposite. It is a misconception from the word go. This strong attraction is not love but lust. Once the desires of the loin are met, it marks the beginning of the end. Their is nothing to look forward to. It was just the heat of the moment. The passion is spent. The two souls part ways immediately. There is no reason whatsoever why they should stick together any longer. They shared nothing in common except lust. The moment it is fulfilled they go their separate ways. It was a marriage of convenience.

Incompatibility between couples is what creates a state of love come and go. The natural chemistry that brings cohesion and compatibility is lacking in this case. The couples are so different with diverse views, opinions, visions and ideologies that cannot be harmonized. They become like two people from different worlds, they are worlds apart. What was thought to be a minor hindrance that would solve itself within a short time span instead entrenches itself more. The differences between the couple become more evident and conspicuous by the day. Everyone is different in a unique way but the difference should not be an obstacle when it comes to dating and love. Love knows how to naturally deal with such problems. It accommodates them and makes them disappear. Love looks at the bigger picture.

Does love come and go? Infidelity in a relationship is a good recipe for this. It is lack of commitment by one partner. It kills the relationship with no alternative but to make the union a short lived affair. One principal in the relationship feels the other partner has betrayed the course and cannot bear the thought of staying with a traitor. The aggrieved partner cannot take cheating lying down. What lacks in the union that makes one partner to solicit it from another person? If concrete answers are not forthcoming, then the love which had come loaded with so many good things goes up in smoke. One partner feels his or her usefulness is no longer paramount. The usefulness that used to be there has now been outlived.

Irresponsibility by one partner in a relationship kills any hopes for the relationship to overcome its challenges. Alcoholism and a failure to take responsibility of affair affecting the family give justification to the love come and go scenario. These mostly affects men who turn alcoholic and become married to the bottle for better or for worse. They turn a blind eye when it comes to catering for the welfare of the wife and children. The man runs away from responsibilities. The wife sees no future in an alcoholic husband. She starts searching for a person who can give her a feeling of security. A man who does not hide and shy away from responsibilities and commitments.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Love Come and Go Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Love Come and Go

Innocent No More

2008-04-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

By Greg Rouse

Nothing is what it is anymore. A point has been reached where everything must be psycho-analyzed. A smirk is no longer a reflection of enjoyment or satisfaction it's an indication of nearly concluding ulterior motives. A giggle is not laughter but rather mockery and fatigue is mistaken for frustration. Why so? Where have our innocence gone?

Innocence helps to preserve the joy in our lives. In fact a lot of the joy and excitement in life thrives on the preservation of innocence. It seems ironic at times how knowing can corrupt enjoyment. It is innocence to not have to think twice all the time or to have to rethink your behavior. Nobody wants to get into the habit of second guessing themselves; to have to deal with the consciousness of right and wrong, moral and immoral with every thing they choose to do, especially when dealing with Love and Romance.

You see, the irony in my idea of innocence is that it is very difficult to maintain. Innocence does help maintain and preserve joy, but experience has the power to kill your innocence. With innocence lost, usually, so is the joy in your experiences, in your life. After having experienced something without achieving the hoped for results you will lose the innocence in your hopeful expectations and therefore corrupt the very thing you desire.

I want so much to get our innocence back. My expression is completely hindered by fear of being misunderstood. I haven't made a motion without wondering how it will be interpreted. How is what I'm about to do going to be received? There is no innocence in this. My heart should be known. Sure there has been some miscommunication in the past, but that hasn't changed me.

Keep your innocence. I plead with you to understand just how important it is for you to not corrupt your intentions, your motives and interactions with each other. Is it possible? Can we grow older and remain innocent? You can if you truly have Love for each other. You must first realize that your mate is not perfect. They will make a mistake. They will mess something up.

Innocence in Love becomes corrupted when we lose sight of the charm we found in each other. We some how become convinced that the other persons behavior is intentional and that they do things to purposefully or carelessly hurt or bother us. We may have even previously known about such behaviors but now somehow lost our tolerance for them. Regardless of origin whether if it was something they did or something we now feel or think our innocence has been corrupted and our patience will quickly run thin.

Don't lose your innocence in one another. Be who you are and Love them for who they are. And you two will grow and mature together. Enjoy each other.

Greg Rouse is an accomplished martial artist whose experience reaches back into his early childhood. Having practiced and trained in several different styles and techniques over the many years he is well-rounded and ready to share what he has learned. To learn more about what he can do for you in Health & Fitness, Martial Arts Training, Seminars and Special Programs visit http://www.ctctaekwondo.com

He is also a minister in training who loves to reveal Truth to any eager and willing listener. If this is you and you would like to hear more, enter into discussion, schedule a visit or see where he'll be next visit myspace (.com) and search for heirtohisriches, or stop by the Living the Ministry Community Forums on the internet.

Silver and Gold - Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

2008-04-01T06:11:00.001-07:00

By Tina Tessina

"Make new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold."-- adage

Research shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family. But, in our mobile society, keeping friends is not always possible.First, consider what being a friend means to you. Who are your best friends? What qualities do they have? Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create more of them in your life. This can be done in two ways:

• Make changes in your current relationships ask your friends to participate in activities you enjoy, and spend more time with the friends whose style of friendship best complements your own.

• Create new friendships -- Reach out to coworkers, your neighbors or church members and invite them to accompany you in a favorite activity or for coffee. As an alternative, you may want to join a discussion group focused on literature, film, or painting, or take a class in yoga, or cooking. If you spend time with people who have similar interests, you will soon create new friends.

If you find that you don't have enough friends, here are some guidelines for making new ones. Of course, you can tailor these suggestions to your personal tastes.

1. Get a life. If you want to meet people with whom you have something in common, do things on a regular basis that involve others. Activities can range from taking classes, joining hobby clubs, volunteering, playing a sport or game, hiking, or any pursuit that meets regularly. The people you meet will share your interest, and you'll have something to talk about and enjoy together.

2. Find interesting, fun people. Being involved in an ongoing activity, and meeting with the same people on a regular basis gives you a chance to get to know them before you decide to pursue a more personal relationship. When you find someone you think is particularly pleasant, spend a little time talking with him or her during or after your activity. Ask questions about the project you are working on, or share experiences and advice. If you both enjoy the conversation, goes well, you can offer to meet before or after the session for coffee. From there, you can begin do more things together, until you've established a pattern of friendship.

3. Don't overlook people you know. While you're making new friends, don't forget the people you already know. Is there a favorite family member you'd like to see more often? Call him or her and suggest going for a walk, or to lunch. Are there acquaintances at work, at church, in your neighborhood, involved in your child's ( or your own) school, or elsewhere with whom you could develop a friendship? Consider reaching out to them. Let these people know that you'd like to share events and activities.

Spending quality time with friends is beneficial to your emotional, mental and physical health. If you follow the above steps, you'll find that it isn't as difficult as you think to make friends.(Adapted from The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty (c)Tessina, 2001)

Author Bio:

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. http://www.tinatessina.com is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 11 books, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction (New Page); How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page); The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley) and The Real 13th Step: Discovering Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs (New Page.) Her newest books, out from Adams Press in 2008: Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage and Commuter Marriage. She publishes Happiness Tips from Tina, an e-mail newsletter, and the "Dr. Romance Blog" http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/ and has hosted "The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" a weekly hour long radio show. She is an online expert, answering relationship questions at http://www.CouplesCompany.com and Yahoo!Personals, as well as a Redbook Love Network expert and "Psychology Smarts" columnist for First for Women.Dr. Tessina guests frequently on radio, and on such TV shows as "Oprah", "Larry King Live" and ABC news

Rivers of Friendship

2008-04-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

By Thomas Cummins

Flowing smoothly in the spring currents
sparkling water filled and buzzing with its natural contents.

Water is the closest thing to friendship as it is continuous
a friendship with you is truly comforting and harmonious.

To be with you is to be unclothed unmasked and natural
for your friendship is the epitome of all that is spectacular

True friends come along in sparse degrees
always willing to listen, encouraging, wanting to please

When you come around, the world is bright
smiling and wanting to chat and talking all through the night.

Just being with you and knowing you are there
removes my concerns and helps me to forget all my cares.

We laugh and have fun and play with words
with a feeling of importance not seconds or thirds.

That is what friendship means, to be happy when not a word is spoken
as we talk in silence, listening with a bond that cannot be broken.

How rare it is for souls to meet and be joined as one
knowing you will still be here when all others have gone.

This may sound sad and forlorn with a lonesome heart
but I am very happy knowing we have something that is set apart.

Listening to the water as it flows downriver
cherishing your presence and thoughts and praying it will be forever.

Foaming bubbles gather where rocks or branches are in the way
reminding us that friends are there when obstacles also come our way.

Friends are angels disguised to show us Gods love
as HE sends you to us with all the love He can show from heaven above.

Thomas J. Cummins is an entrepreneur / motivational / inspirational seeker for a better way of life for one and all to enjoy. I know you desire a better way of life and would like to know more about incredible resources both free and not; so go right ahead and contact me @ incaalpacatrail@hotmail.com for more information Dia Dhuit

Party Line Relationships

2008-04-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

By Diane Overgard

I know I'm showing my age here, but I recall the day the big black wall telephone was installed in the living room of my house. My phone number was "North 3156" and the neighbors used the same "party line." Picking up the phone it was common to hear Myrtle and Joyce planning a potluck supper, or Irvin asking Dean about the cows out on the road. (I lived in a small farming community in northern Wisconsin.)

The party line wasn't a problem - in fact people seemed to like the connection between neighbors. When my mother picked up the phone she generally took the time to say "hello" to whoever was talking. It would have been rude to hang up without at least sharing a greeting! And the beauty of a friendly neighborhood party line was that my mother often ended up adding her opinion, and a "dish-to-share" to the potluck. Then my family would join Myrtle's and Joyce's for dinner that night. Or, if Mom knew who owned the cows on the road she'd share her insights so Irvin and Dean could help the cows get to their right home. That was community. Those people knew about relationships.

How does that compare with your community? We certainly need those same caring relationships. Do people drop in at your house without an invitation? Can you list a few neighbors who are generally available for a spur-of-the moment glass of wine and half-hour conversation? Shared, spontaneous joy is one of the best parts of life! We miss out when most of our contacts have to be planned and scheduled. Stop here for one moment and think about what you can do differently today to increase your community. Who are two people you would like to connect with today? What can you do to initiate a connection? What do you need in order to make that connection happen?

When you're met with a challenge, even though it's probably not cows on the street, do you have people to call? Or do you tend to tackle things alone? Friends make work lighter. Have you ever painted a room, with the help of a friend? When your neighbor is doing his lawn clean-up this spring, how would it feel to grab your rake and lend a hand? Sharing in work is sharing life. What task or work is on your schedule today that can be shared with a neighbor or friend? Do you have the courage to ask for help? Is it easier for you to help someone with their burdens? What do you need in order to reach out to lighten someone's load today?

I think the lesson to be learned from the party line telephone is that people need connections today as much as they did years ago. When I gather my confidence to join in a conversation, invite myself to spend some time with a neighbor, or lend a helping hand, I'm building relationships. Relationships make my life full, interesting, and joyful!

Would you like to expand and improve your relationships with neighbors, family members, or co-workers? Does this seem like a stretch for you to initiate new friendships? Do you sometimes feel isolated and alone? Let's talk about that. Please e-mail me at Diane@BeginAgainLifeCoaching.com to schedule a free ½ hour phone call just to get acquainted. Positive relationships make all of life better and life coaching can be just the jump start you need to build new skills in this area.

Want to use this article on your website, ezine, or blog? Great! Just be sure to include the following bio with link back to http://www.BeginAgainLifeCoaching.com
"Diane Overgard, CFLE, is Family Life Specialist and Life Coach whose main goal is to help people who are experiencing family change to unwrap a new future. Find out if Life Coaching might be right for you by visiting http://www.BeginAgainLifeCoaching.com

How Falling in Love is Like Having a New Puppy

2008-04-01T06:04:00.000-07:00

By Cherry Norris

The night before Valentine's Day, my husband, Lorenzo, walked up the stairs carrying a small bundle of fur.

Looking up from my computer, I asked, "What's that? Is it stuffed? Is it alive?" Lorenzo set the "fluff ball" on the floor. It barely moved. I couldn't see his eyes for all the hair. But I knew. It's a dog. (OMG!)

I could not believe Lorenzo did that. I could not believe he bought us a new puppy! (Talk about taking a risk!) But within the first week, I realized having a new puppy is very much like falling in love.

1. It's Unexpected

Just like talking about falling in love, you never really expect it when it happens. Falling in love is what you'll do someday. When you meet the right person. When you have all your affairs in order. Or after the next trip... Then you meet him and all your plans go out the window.

I couldn't speak when Lorenzo bought me a dog. We had talked about getting a dog. Someday. But here it was. Live. Real. In-person.

Meeting Biscuit wasn't a WOW moment like..."Oh WOW! I'm so excited!" And I'm running around screaming, "Oh WOW!" It was more like, "Oh. Wow. Oh. Wow. Oh. Hell. Oh. Wow." This is OUR dog.

This is it. This is what "Love" is? Oh. Wow.

2. It's Obnoxious

Like a couple kissing and fondling each other in public, not caring who's watching because they're sooooo in love...having a new puppy is just as down right obnoxious.

I've never been one of those "dog people". They're so obnoxious about their animals. Until now. Now, I'm an obnoxious "dog person". And I don't care who sees it. I want to show "my love" to everyone. Oh, how happy we are! Isn't he cute? I share stories of our meeting with strangers. (Happy sigh.) It's obnoxious. It's really, really obnoxious.

3. It's Terrifying

In the beginning, "Love" is so fabulous. It's so new. It's so exciting!

And then you realize you have to live in real life. And "Love" has needs. But you don't know what they are, because you've just met. You don't know each other at all. You don't know what he's thinking. And that's when the terror hits. And just like falling in love, you realize no matter how much you think you're prepared, you're not.

I've entertained the notion of having a dog. I like the idea of a loyal companion accompanying me on my walks. I like the idea of something cute looking up at me. I like the IDEA of having a dog. But the reality is I know NOTHING about raising a puppy. I have no idea how to take care of it! What if I screw it up? What if I kill it?

I told Lorenzo he couldn't go back to work until the puppy was an adult. He couldn't leave me alone with Biscuit! It was terrifying. (Lorenzo did leave me alone with Biscuit. I'm fine now.) (In case you were wondering.)

4. It's Difficult to Say "NO"

Just like saying "NO" to having sex too soon, it was just as difficult to say "NO" to Biscuit when he wanted to jump on the sofa. I really, really wanted him to come to me. It would be great to cuddle with him on the sofa, but it was our second day. I had to say "NO". Jumping on furniture is not a habit I want to encourage.

Friends couldn't believe my willpower. Most of them said, "You'll give in. You can't resist. You'll have to have him with you on your sofa." But I knew if I let him have his way from the beginning, I'd pay for it in the long-run. I knew he wouldn't respect me. I knew he'd walk all over me. Spoiled.

And I knew that once I said "YES" it would be very, very difficult to say "NO" again. If ever. (Okay, I admit...I've let him up a few times, but...not EVERY time!:))

5. It's Work, but It's So Worth It

Like a romantic relationship, having a new puppy is a lot of work. You have to tend it. It takes time. You have another responsibility in your life. With someone who has their own ideas and opinions about things.

But you're committed. And it's a priority.

With Biscuit, we bathe him, feed him, walk him, poo him, brush him, medicate him and take him to the vet.

And like a typical man, Biscuit is always in our business. He wants to be a part of everything! And I love it.

He's so joyful. And playful. And adorable. (Everyone thinks so!) He's so good. (Everyone says so!) And soooo sweet. (Everyone loves him!) (I warned you..."It's obnoxious!")

And I'm such a Proud Mama. (I've never heard myself say that before!) And although I've never experienced childbirth, I imagine holding a new baby must evoked similar sentiments. Falling in love...is so worth it!

Here's to the "Loves" in your life!

Cherry Norris is a renowned celebrity dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker. Based in Los Angeles, California, Cherry is an official dating coach for Cupid's Coach matchmaking service and the relationship expert on Catherine Oxenberg's TV pilot, Practical Princess. Cherry has lead workshops around the US and on cruises to Mexico and Alaska. She has been featured in The LA Times, The Hollywood Reporter, Divine Caroline, and Women's World.

Cherry's passion is helping people build healthy, intimate romantic relationships. Under her direction, you will learn the skills and techniques for dating that will have you starring in the role of a lifetime opposite the co-star you've been waiting for!

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Meaning of Love - An Elusive Enigma

2008-04-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

By Dorothy M Smith

"Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

- Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam: 27, 1850

People, through the centuries, have wondered aloud, and otherwise, their thoughts on the four letter word that encapsulates a tempest in a tea-cup. They have boasted of theories and jumped to conclusions. They have dug up the roots of the human body and mind to come up with satisfactory answers. They have conducted experiments, organized discussions, pooled opinions, studied behavioral pie-charts and tried in every which way to describe the feeling of love. Yet the same people get boggled when confronted with the same predicament in their own lives. So what is love?

The definition of love is like a secluded island, deep in the heart of the sea. Anyone trying to reach can only come close but cannot touch land. Similarly you can only 'try' to define love; your definition may be correct to an extent but it can never hit the bull's eye. The reason is not your incompetence; it is just that the definition is in the perception of the person trying to define it and perceptions vary. So, instead of trying to do the impossible, lets just dwell on the flavor of love and forget the recipe behind it!

Love is a word that captures the essence of both the profound and the profane. Love songs and ballads seem melodious to the person who has not been in a man-woman relationship also. In fact, limiting the facets of love in the confines of the words 'I Love You' is shutting out its aura to a great extent. You cannot determine which form of love is purer: child-mother, man-woman, brother-sister, God-devotee.

You know you are in love when you feel the influence of another person is more imposing on your thought process than your own ideas and opinions. You start thinking in terms of the person you are in love with. You want to make yourself worthy of that person, placing that person on the higher pedestal always. You are always in doubt as to what you should do to make him or her happy and what you should not. You are willing to take the hurt and blame on yourself rather than let your loved one crease forehead in worry. You feel the whole world is against you and no one is your friend. You live in a world of your own where entry is restricted only to people who understand the value of that world.

"Who wants a cynic who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing?"- asked Oscar Wilde. The meaning of love cannot be explained to the cynics; if you have it in you, you grasp the meaning without a word being spoken. If you do not feel the warmth melting your heart, no one can drill it into the frigid interiors of your soul. Love is what makes two persons sit close to each other on a bench, when there's plenty of space on the sides. Love is when they walk off separate ways, without speaking a word all along, and still feel they have had the best conversation of their life. Love is also like the sand that slips through your fingers the more you try to grab it tighter. So express your love to your loved ones by free love greetings and love cards now. Tomorrow may not come with the same streak of luck!

Dorothy Smith is a freelance writer, who writes about relationship, communication, love, and other subjects revolving about what it means to be human. You can find more information on celebrating love. Find love cards and other free ecards. Get connected... Stay connected.

Golden Rules of Being a Fabulous Friend

2008-03-27T03:59:00.000-07:00

By Francheska Saunders

Fashion guru, punching bag, unlimited call partner, shoulder to cry on -- what else can a friend do for you? These are few of the duties a friend can do. But what else can we do for a friend besides from being the rag to drag around?

We usually find ourselves giggling in coffee shops, hanging out at the mall, and having the sleepovers. But is it enough to be called a fabulous friend? Here are some tips to improve or have a better relationship with your friends.

• Admit the Humiliating Truth

Tell a friend about the Ungodly truth about yourself, it's a requirement mostly in women. Women can be mistrustful and unless you reveal the naked truth about your juicy past, a woman may never trust you. Invite a friend, grab some beer and confide! At first, it may seem awkward but after a while the trust will fill the air and the other will spill the sickest thing about him/her as well. Both having known the dirt of each other will help you encourage to trust one another.

• Dating her EX?

Remember to only date her EX if the following applies:
1. The relationship they had wasn't serious, no "I Love You's" involved.
2. The person you're dating isn't the recent one he/she had.
3. If he/she met someone else.
4. And make sure his/her "someone else" is much hotter than the EX.

But it is better to avoid dating an EX. Even though your friend tells you that it's so over and it's okay, there will still be a question inside their head. They'll be asking themselves why you, and why not him/her. There will always be a comparison of why your relationship with the EX worked out, and not with them. You'll just end up hurting someone and will have to choose between a friend and a lover.

• Be the "Nice" Mirror

A lot of women usually ask if they gained weight or if they still look gorgeous. A lot of us would lie and say "Nah, you're in great shape" but knowing the truth that they did gain weight. A true friend should tell the truth even if it would hurt, but say it in a subtle way. And remember to offer to be the gym buddy or her stylist.

• Never Take Advantage

The difference between a comfy couch and making your friend a doormat is the way you'll be treating them. Don't take advantage of the person even if it's alright with them. Always make sure that it would still be a give and take relationship and not just take and take.

• Endure at least 10 hours Per Month to Hear Out Obsessions

Getting sick of the yada yada stories about the recent break-up, a new crush, work-related problems, or even tell you the detailed stories about his/her sex life? Next time tell your friend in a nice way that you like hearing things about what is happening with his/her life but you also would prefer to keep some stuff to their selves.

• Be the Air Bag during an Embarrassing Moment

Instead of laughing, be the airbag that a friend would need. Try to lessen the trauma of embarrassment.

• Never Leave a Friend Dangling

Always be there for a friend in times of needs. Even if you had to work the next morning without sleeping at all, then do it. It's not as if she bothers you almost every night to be her pillow. Give the time he/she would need to recover and give assurances that everything will be just fine.

• Judgment Call, Ditch it!

Forget the word "I told you so" when a friend runs back to you after taking an advise and doing the total opposite of it. You're still a friend so try to understand, although you're sick of it, still do comfort your friend. He/She will do the same with you.

• Treat a Friend

Make sure you have the proper bonding time without anyone else. No partners around. Plan a vacation or a trip that includes only the two of you. Go to a beach, eat out, hang out at the café, or go on a tour.

• Never Wave your Triumph

Although you have the Bragger's right, never wave your triumph in a friends face. Remember if something comes up, like a promotion, something beautiful happened in your life, you won a trip Paris or you found the love of your life, share it with a friend first. A friend will be most proud and happy for you.

I'm Cheska, currently my goal is to be a fashion designer or even a fashion icon. I am into modeling because I love what the models do. I always wanted to go to Europe, but so far, I only have traveled different states of the America.

http://francheskasaunders.multiply.com/

Can Men be Friends With Their Ex-girlfriends?

2008-03-27T03:58:00.001-07:00

By Chris Dreyer

Most people dread the phrase "can we just be friends" as it usually signifies the end of a relationship. While this question is one of the classic breakup lines, it is a statement that should be carefully considered before embarking on the relationship to friendship transition. Before jumping blindly from a relationship to a friendship there are many important things to consider and you should be fully prepared to manage the relationship differently without getting your feelings hurt.

Before you commit to "just being friends" you should evaluate your intentions and make sure you are not setting yourself up for disaster. Remaining friends with an ex who was a friend before, or remaining friends because you have a genuine connection and shared interests are good reasons to make the transition. Being friends with an ex in hopes that you will get back together, or to keep tabs on then or to seek revenge are reasons that will certainly lead to disaster. If you have good intentions and a genuine connection with your ex then pursuing a friendship can be a good idea.

You should also consider the value of your ex's friendship and make sure they will add value to your life. Neither of you will benefit if you remain friends for the wrong reasons. Too many people have friends and acquaintances that do not add any positive energy to their lives and it is important that you look at all of your ex's qualities and make sure they will positively impact your life. If your ex has traits that will not help you to be a happy and healthy person, then you will probably be better off without them. Make a mental list of all the good and bad qualities they possess and make sure their friendship will be a valuable and healthy one.

Going from boyfriend to friend can work, but if you focus too much on the friendship of harbor intentions other than platonic ones, you are setting yourself up for disaster. If you decide to go the friendship route you should make sure that you are not expecting anything more to happen. It is important to give yourself time to heal and move on, even if you are remaining friends with your ex. Don't rely too much on your friendship to help you heal, get out and do things, meet new people, and move on with your life.

If you do decide to be friends with your ex-girlfriend, make sure you set ground rules and then stick too them. Setting boundaries before you continue your relationship as friends will help you to avoid making mistakes that you will regret and will further complicate your friendship. If pursuing a friendship is important to both of you then you should both decide what types of interactions are appropriate and do your best to make sure that the lines you set are not crossed. Keeping your relationship positive and platonic is the key to success, so be sure to set the boundaries you both need to make this possible.

Click here to discover the most powerful technique to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-an-ex-girlfriend-back

Love, Its Qualities And Goals

2008-03-27T03:56:00.000-07:00

By Abraham Adar

Love is a value; a feeling; a unique, basic, vital energy, of great intensity, instilled within us by the Creator. It is a creative energy, which creates, develops and motivates our every positive activity. It is our spiritual spring. It is the most impressive gift, granted us by our Creator. According to the philosophers of ancient Greece, love is the energy that created and moves the universe and all that it contains. According to God's words in "Kriat Shema" (a Jewish prayer, based on Deuteronomy 6: 4-9) love will extend man's days on Earth for eternity. I allow myself to add that love is the energy that brings us to properly express Good and in doing so, to realize our purpose.

God's special emphasis on love and His numerous attempts to convince us to realize it, point to its great significance, but also to our basic problem in expressing it.

Love is also a unique, and necessary, spiritual nourishment. It is the 'glue' that stabilizes our spirituality, in order to function in a natural and efficient manner. It could be said that most people hunger for this food.

Love also neutralizes many of our negative phenomena and induces happiness, peace, harmony, confidence, trust, encouragement, unity and so forth. Love is also the means, which leads us to find Good everywhere. It is the most efficient tool for bringing people closer; bringing with it a daring to approach the other to grant him assistance, protection and primarily, the most sought-after and precious thing - love. It is also the most efficient means of approaching God.

True love stands behind acts of love, such as: assistance, mercy, forgiveness, recognition, esteem, protection, care, sympathy and consideration. It is the tool which transforms a defenseless baby into an emotionally mature adult, capable of dealing with most of life's challenges. Human beings are attracted to each other, primarily because of their giving and receiving that unique energy called love.

When you turn to someone with genuine love, you cannot simultaneously act against him. You can only act to benefit him. I presume some of you have experienced this wonderful phenomenon.

God's creation of the universe is an expression of Good, and is therefore an expression of love. And, as we shall see later on, it is an expression of love at infinite intensity, which is why every detail of this creation, including man, is essentially positive and was created to express Good. It can therefore be said that His "Word" is an inseparable part of that creation, and hence, is also an expression of love.

Every positive act is more perfectly performed when it is accompanied with love. Most of us recognize the importance of love between a man and a woman in building their future, in the success of the sexual act and the degree of its fertility. The root cause of a man's impotence and of a woman's frigidity lies, among other things, in a difficulty in the expression of mutual love. This phenomenon is not unique to man. A connection of love can be recognized in other animals' fertility and survival, even much more dramatically than in mankind. It is so marvelous to discover love in birds, in the cooperation between the male and the female in building their nest and raising their chicks.

It can therefore be said that love is amongst the most important of our spiritual means and perhaps the most important one of all.

The author is a Holocaust survivor and has resided in Israel since 1948. In his book and website, http://www.adar-publishing.com, he expresses concern regarding the dangers which ambush Man today, as well as to the continuous rampant "Jewish tragedy" .

His sensitivity to Man's fundamental problems and the genuine need to find a proper and efficient solution to these problems, have lead him to present humanity this unique way of life.

State Of Love - The Suitable State Of Consciousness For Receiving And Granting Love

2008-03-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

By Abraham Adar

In order to receive and transmit true love, we must be in a suitable consciousness; one in which conditions like unity and inner harmony with ourselves and our surroundings are fulfilled, and primarily with the subject to whom we beam our love. This is the consciousness in which only Good is performed. We shall refer to it as "love consciousness" or as the "love state".

It is remarkably similar to the Alpha state, with which we are familiar. It could be said that the love state is a more elevated one due to its high capacity for expressing love. One of the special methods of entering the love state is in giving genuine love to the other. If you can express love towards the other every time you encounter him, whether in reality or in your imagination, you will have created an efficient method of quickly entering this special consciousness. Due to the inability to perform anything negative while being in the state of love, it inherently represents a suitable soil for the creation and development of the most exalted capabilities.

Already some 2500 years ago, the Greek philosophers defined a lover's wondrous quality, according to which the true lover is the one who enables Good to rule him, something that can only occur in a state of love, since it is only in that state that these conditions exist. Being in a state of exuding and receiving love most of our time, means being in the natural state, God created and designed us to be in. This consciousness is also among the most important and marvelous gifts bestowed on us.

His sensitivity to Man's fundamental problems and the genuine need to find a proper and efficient solution to these problems, have lead him to present humanity this unique way of life.

Plato's Erotic Love

2008-03-27T03:50:00.000-07:00

By Abraham Adar

Love is the constant wish of reaching Good. A person is always in a state of striving for something, in which Good is present. Therefore, it is love that provides man with the motivation for his actions. Plato believed that everything in the universe aspires to attain Good. Thus, the entire universe is in a continuous state of love. He continues: It is love, which causes the world to exist; without love, nothing could exist. Every person is, in a certain sense, a type of lover. Few know the object of their love, which motivates their aspirations and forms the foundation of all their wishes.

Since all things in the universe form a single unit, the highest object of love must also be One. The philosopher named this object "absolute Good" or "absolute Beauty". To Love this Beauty and Good is the most exalted love, nearing you to immortality.

The Greeks of that era also bestowed Beauty and Good with the role of Harmony - things shall not collide if they are Good.

Whatever is truly beautiful must also be good, and whatever is truly good must also be beautiful. Whoever recognizes an ugly person's goodness, will also recognize his beauty. A person cannot attain beauty if he is not good. Hence, a person's highest wish would be that Good and Beauty be present within him throughout his entire life, and this is, in effect, what each of us is looking for.

The philosopher notes that the true lover is that person who has torn away his shackles, left Socrates' "cave of shadows" and entered the true world.

Notes: The aspiration for unity mentioned earlier refers to a reunion with something that had been separated in the distant past.

Summary: Platonic love is a form of intellectual love, at a high level, yet lacking feelings of love. This is the doctrine's principal flaw.

His sensitivity to Man's fundamental problems and the genuine need to find a proper and efficient solution to these problems, have lead him to present humanity this unique way of life.

"Love Springs Eternal" - Really? Did You Ever Wonder?

2008-03-22T03:01:00.001-07:00

By Sally C. Brown

What draws us towards each other? What do we really see reflected in others?

Is it simply a reflection of us?

Do we repel others because what we see we do not love in ourselves?

Wonder, wonder... We are what we are... We believe what we want to believe

Someone once told me in confidence after the loss of her friend that she was not mourning over the death of her friend, but for the absence of what she had experienced so often in her presence.... She would no longer be able to comfort that friend with her affection or receive her friend's attentions... wouldn't be able to tell her friend how much her gentle presence had meant to her...She said she treasured how much her friend saw in her... This friend had accepted her flaws and faults, in a word everything...She believes that this was an extraordinary find in a friend.... In a statement of awe and wonder she said that this friend had even found some of the rough sides of her character attractive!

She felt prized. Her friend didn't demand more than she was willing or able to share...

This friend's gentleness and generosity was blissfully poured out on her time after time. Upon reflection she told me her friend's example made her want to do the same thing for others...In this small manner... she thought she would give tribute to her friend's life. All that she received as a beneficiary would not be wasted. She would continue her friend's legacy to the world...in this way love would indeed "spring eternal"...

I am always surprised at such sensitivity ...clarity of expression and perception in others. This person has caught the essence of being human, of real exchanges of love with all of its imperfection, pain and empathy...Her friend's love spurs her on to make sure that the memory and reality of this experience is never lost...She embraces the goodness, the generosity and gentleness she found in her...In this way the good in the world continues to overcome the evil...

If each person were to extend what he or she learned or discovered in others...like the goodness, the beauty, the generosity, the virtue that exists somewhere in the best and worst of us... into their own daily practice of living and loving others in return...why there would be no end in sight to anyone's life!

It is like casting light into a tunnel, a net into the sea, shining candlelight into the darkness. We incorporate the good we see in others into our own behavior and so they live on through us... Life is passed along..-In a sense we become immortal and so do those we continue to love in the world....It is endless..."Love springs eternal"...

Website: www.effective-spiritual-parenting.com

Sally Brown, M.A., Sp. Director, is a trained educator and spiritual director. She has worked in the educational system for over forty years as an administrator, teacher, mentor and spiritual director. Her experience stretches from preschool, elementary and junior high school, high school, youth to adults. She has taught and given workshops in California, Texas, Louisiana, New Jersey, Florida, Colorado and in Italy. She was an associate of The New Life Institute for Human Development in Virginia and The Mercy Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado where she worked with men and women Catholic sisters and priests.

Website: http://www.effective-spiritual-parenting.com

Setting the Stage for Love - Internet Relationships Part Two

2008-03-22T03:00:00.002-07:00

By Kay Hutchinson

Is it possible to find love on the internet? Certainly. Originality, timeliness, depth and authenticity with early stages of of online communications play a role in developing the potential for love through online dating experiences.

Let us take a closer look at these factors.

Originality, Timeliness and Depth Counts

Let's face it. Many people exhibit a "cast the net wide and far " approach to online matching services. They send out the same introduction to a variety of people and answer all replies with "tell me more" regardless of what was expressed in the reply.

For instance Steve is a member of a popular online dating service. He sends Beth an introduction email. She sends a well developed response expressing that the interest is mutual.

Steve waits several days then writes, "Tell me more about you." He does not comment on anything specific that Beth has shared.

Beth writes back, "No thanks." Steve is puzzled by her response.

If you want to create an online interaction with the potential of developing a loving relationship off the computer, take the the time to individualize introductions, respond in a timely way and with depth.

Express Authenticity

Relationships that begin online and blossom into love have authenticity as a primary characteristic.

There are many single, unattached individuals online who say that they seek love and a long term relationship.

Yet, there are also a number of individuals who are married or otherwise attached who simply want to see what might be available in terms of temporary companionship.

Many people are forthright about their true status and intentionality. Others are not.

Simon laments that he can not find a suitable date or long term relationship partner. On his dating profile, he presents himself as a single, successful business owner seeking a long term relationship.

Yet, he does not mention that he is still married (separated), totally dependent on his spouse for financial support and emotionally still entwined in her life.

To attract love, make sure that who you are authentically matches what you present on your online profile.

Read other articles in this series of finding internet love by searching Kay Hutchinson's author profile at ezinearticles.com. Also, for further guidance on internet dating, contact Kay Hutchinson, CAMQ, CAMT. http://www.aikihealing.com

Kay Hutchinson is a practitioner of Chinese medicine, energetic life coach and teacher of qi gong movement. She is the founder of Aiki Healing, a private practice in Austin, Texas, and the publisher of "Health Prosperity" a publication dedicated to empowering people to manifest optimum health and wellness.

Join the Health Prosperity free mailing list today to receive these helpful strategies in your email box. http://www.aikihealing.com/healthprosperity/archives.html

Having Trouble Finding Friends - Here is Some Advice for You

2008-03-22T03:00:00.001-07:00

By Lance Winslow

Many people who have trouble finding friends, tend to forget that each person is unique and that their combination of attributes, attitudes and perspectives are to be admired even if they do not fully gel with their own. As folks get older, they get jaded in many ways and they want to hang around others who think like they do; religiously, politically and share common values, beliefs, hobbies, lifestyles and economic classes. When it is all said and done that can be a relatively tall order.

Therefore it is far better to attempt to seek out uniqueness or people who are not like you and relish in their individuality and differences. If you take this approach you will find that everyone you meet will be a potential friend. And those few people who are just like you, well, you will have a common bond with them anyway, you can't help that.

Some people ask me, how come I have so many friends and why does everyone get along with me? Well, I tend not to judge, rather listen and learn. You learn a lot more from those who are different from you than all those people who have over the years of experience, education and observations finally come to your conclusions.

If every friend you have is just like you, you will not have many friends and you cannot grow listening to the same lines, talking points and clichés year in and year out. Thus, I recommend that you look for uniqueness in everyone you meet and you will discover more than you will ever know and discover you have more friends as you grow.

"Lance Winslow" - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/.

Lance Winslow's Bio

Golden Rules of Being a Fabulous Friend

2008-03-22T02:59:00.001-07:00

By Francheska Saunders

• Admit the Humiliating Truth

• Dating her EX?

• Be the "Nice" Mirror

• Never Take Advantage

• Endure at least 10 hours Per Month to Hear Out Obsessions

• Be the Air Bag during an Embarrassing Moment

Instead of laughing, be the airbag that a friend would need. Try to lessen the trauma of embarrassment.

• Never Leave a Friend Dangling

• Judgment Call, Ditch it!

• Treat a Friend

• Never Wave your Triumph

http://francheskasaunders.multiply.com/

Know What You Have

2008-03-22T02:58:00.001-07:00

By ME Williams

Everybody has heard, "You never know what you have until you lose it." Even in Spanish "Nunca sabes lo que tienes hasta lo que pierdes" makes things pretty clear.....if you speak Spanish, that is. The point is that you should celebrate the things that are special to you each and every day. In my case today's celebration is of three people who, even though they are far away from me on the map, are great friends and very close to my heart.

Because of my life's wanderings, I found myself in Raleigh, North Carolina for about ten years. A great city, Raleigh was where I met Ron Brown. "Mr. Brown" as I usually call him, started out as a co-worker but became a truly great friend. Rarely in this life have I had someone that I felt I could count on no matter what happened, but Mr. Brown is that kind of person. No matter whether I need a favor or a well-timed, albeit good-natured insult to keep me grounded, Mr. Brown is really the kind of friend that everyone wishes they had.

Another treasure that I uncovered at the same workplace was a burly West Virginian named Mike Bell. This guy is as country as going barefoot or picking the banjo, but that country side blended perfectly with his common sense and Christian values to give me the kind of counselor I probably always needed. Mike teamed up with Mr. Brown to make sure that "el guapo" never got too far out of control!

Teresa Manns is the other incredible discovery I made while I was in Raleigh. If I ever found a friend that was more like a soul mate, Teresa is that person. You wouldn't think it to look at us, but "Slim Tee" is like my twin sister from a different mother. We just connect and even if we don't talk for a while I know that one phone call and it's just like old times. Teresa is one of those people that I believe can do anything she chooses and I don't think there is anything in this world that stand in her way.

Some people don't know what they have until they lose it. Even though I am not in Raleigh anymore, I am not one of those people. I have three incredible friends and I will never forget how truly blessed I am for that. It's been said that a true friend is a treasure and if that is true, I am much wealthier in this life than Bill Gates or anyone else with money could ever be.

http://www.mewenterprises.com is being developed to promote the interests and activities of MEW Enterprises and Michael E Williams.

Girlfriend Generation

2008-03-16T07:45:00.001-07:00

By Cindy Penkoff

The dictionary defines girlfriend as "a sweetheart of a boy or man; a girl who is ones best friend and/or the woman friend of a woman." Wow, that's it? Somebody call Webster's.

These days you need to include things like your connection to reality; the person or people that seem to know what you need before you do; the people that will sit up and talk to you until 4am. These are your backups. They understand you, love you, are honest with you, instead of dishing you BS, will be there when no one else is. Does that sound like your girlfriends? I hope so, for your sake. This is absolutely one of life's necessities.

Have you noticed the girlfriend revolution? How important "Girlfriends" have become. We would like to think we have always known, but the truth is we haven't. It has not always been so easy to define.

Think about elementary school for a minute. You go into kindergarten and usually, if you are a girl, you have a best friend within days. This is the one you have to sit next to, play dolls with, hold hands going anywhere in that big scary school. You can't wait to come back to school the next day. This works for a few years.

Along about third grade you discover boys. Not like they didn't exist before, but somehow it's just different. They are completely oblivious to this by the way. Very shortly, they will come to the conclusion that you are just "weird". That is where the problem seems to start. They treat you the same as always, but somehow it seems different. You and Sally were best friends yesterday. Today, for some reason, when Tommy said hi to her and not you, this became a problem. How did that happen? I have no idea. But, I think it has something to do with role models and hormones. We see it all around us growing up even if we aren't aware of it. You can't blame your mother, Aunt or even your grandmother. This goes way back and way beyond them. Mix that with the female hormones and look out.

So why the change? Why all of a sudden is it not only OK to have Girlfriends, but a necessity? That is the reason ladies. It is a necessity. In every area of your life, this addition is needed in the worst way.

1) Emotionally - Doesn't it just make sense to have someone in your life that can understand that sometimes you are just sad? And yes, crying does make me feel better!

2) Physically - I am sure she has issues with a body part here and there. Who else would understand not getting in your swimsuit and going to the pool in 97 degree weather?

3) Psychologically - We just think differently. We always have, we always will. She understands why you get annoyed when your other half doesn't take the laundry downstairs on his way to his car.

4) Romantically - Who else will you bounce things off of? Who else will get just as excited over your plans as you? This way you can be doubly annoyed when he misses the whole point.

So who are they? Who are the Girlfriends in your life that you just can't live without? Have you really thought about it? Do they deserve to be there? Do you deserve to have them? I would like to give you a starting point. Hint....it is not necessarily the ones you party with all the time. As fun as they may be, they may not have your best interest at heart. So don't confuse an acquaintance or friend with a "girlfriend". Here's a little help.

• Is she one of the first people you need to call when something happens? Good or Bad?

• Is she your weekend buddy (without makeup)?

• Is she honest with you.....always?

• Does she give you advice whether you like it or not, but does not get upset if you don't take it? (This is a biggy.)

• Do you not have to censor your thoughts and/or opinions with her?

• Does she make you feel safe?

• Are you sure she will be there through thick and thin without question?

How did your girlfriends do? For me, in order to be my Girlfriend, you have to meet those requirements. ALL of them. This is not a test nor is it a private club. It is my life. It's your life too, so treat it with the care and consideration that you deserve to have. If you don't who will? Be good to yourself and only surround yourself with people that believe you are worth it.

For those that have a "spouse" or a facsimile of one, a girlfriend is a totally different ballgame. Girlfriends support, they don't try to fix. Your partner just wants to fix it and be done with it. You know......change the channel?

In High School, the guy meant everything. You were expected to blow off your girlfriends if at the last minute you got a date. No one liked it when it happened to them but, if the tables were turned you would do the same thing.

Girlfriend rule.....should you lose your mind and find yourself dialing the phone to cancel on your girlfriend because of a "date", she has the right, at a later time, to lecture you AND you must sit there and take it without complaint.

Girlfriend rules are basic in nature and should be geared to you, but, they should also have some basics. Do unto others (you know the rest), be honest but with love and always take care to protect not only yourself but the people that you love. One more thing; leave the judgement behind. It serves no purpose.

If it is not screamingly apparent to you, I love my girlfriends. I couldn't survive without them. They are the most amazing women you could meet and I thank god for them every day. They are each unique and totally amazing in their own way. They are beautiful, inside and out, and giving in a way that boggles the mind.

"Girlfriends are the charms of our life. We collect them for their meaning and beauty and create an heirloom uniquely our own." Be creative.

You have just read excerpts of the book "Girlfriend Generation" it is fun and meaningful all at the same time. This book is meant to be shared. The perfect friend gift, with plenty of areas inside to add your own love. Great for all the women in your life. At the end, a journal, for the owner to share with herself. Are you a good Girlfriend? Not to your other half, to the women in your life. Women's friendships have changed dramatically over the past few years. This is a little walk down memory lane, with the concentration on the here, the now and the who. Who are your Girlfriends? Do they deserve you? Do you deserve them? An easy read with lots of common sense thrown in. Your reaction may surprise you.

To order or download the book please go to http://www.lulu.com/content/2155279 You can also go to my website at http://www.girlfriendgeneration.com

My name is Cindy Penkoff, I live in Connecticut and I am 44 years old. This is my first attempt at writing anything that I wanted someone else to read. I have been married for a very long time and have one son. Both of these men I adore. If you would like to know more about me please check out the following article recently done http://ladyinthespotlight.8m.net/whats_new_29.html Thanks for your time.

Silver and Gold - Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

2008-03-16T07:44:00.002-07:00

By Tina Tessina

"Make new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold."-- adage

• Make changes in your current relationships ask your friends to participate in activities you enjoy, and spend more time with the friends whose style of friendship best complements your own.

If you find that you don't have enough friends, here are some guidelines for making new ones. Of course, you can tailor these suggestions to your personal tastes.

Author Bio:

Love, Red Roses and Champagne

2008-03-16T07:44:00.001-07:00

By Thomas Cummins

A soft red rose and a bottle of champagne
set against white clouds of silk forever embedded in my brain
Yellow wrapping of glistening bright material
setting this scene that is almost surreal

Love flowing through the quiet air
looking at you with your golden blonde hair
Where is there to be another who is complete
in all my life none did I ever meet.

Klinking our glasses to share this moment
a history come alive in a true love lament.
Mind goes dizzy with this feeling I have for you
lost in the haze created within your eyes of a soft sensitive hue.

Red roses for a treasured love
Champagne to celebrate the unity thereof.

Celebrating loves value with the love you cherish is definitely never a waste of time, energies or expense. It is remarkable to see couples sharing a quiet walk in a park, at the beach or even walking slowly down the street arm in arm.

When you decide that life is too important to take the time to spend quality moments with the love of your life you have just lost the very love you wanted more than anything else at one time or other. We need to take our lives back from the heavy demands of work and we need to express our values more so they will be heard and appreciated and recognized, plus the added advantage of fighting off temptations and adversaries.

In the movie The Knights of The South Bronx Ted Danson's character is having a conversation with the mother of one of the kids he is teaching and his wife is looking at him with such love in her eyes that one cannot miss it. As they are driving home she tells him as much and at this point was glad to have her husband back who had been stolen by the rigors of work. How many spouses, partners and parents are being stolen right now by the demands of work and how many kids have once again been saddened that their parent broke another promise because of work?

Developing the habit of extra hours all in the name of duty for work is common place and unfortunately companies exploit this behaviour and for the benefit of family life it does not behoove the essence of love to continue in this way.

Work is a vehicle that enables us to enjoy the things and the people who matter to us and is not the main reason of our existence and when we accept that our families are more important we then live more in harmony and balance with the laws of attraction and enjoy the blessings of our labors.

To live as a prince or princess is fine and dandy in a book or movie but the reality of life has many demands for the mere mortals we are and as such we have to make a concerted effort to express our love that the characters in the movies do so eloquently and liberally.

Your spouse is your prince or your princess who in your sparkling eyes enhanced with the love you know no matter the time or day or the garbs they are clothed in or not. To love is to know the essence of the person to whom you are captivated and when the chores are completed and the work day is over you guys have to face off and if love is true this will be a harmonious event.

The metaphor of red roses and champagne will serve to be an example of enjoying the simple things of life and celebrating that your life is filled with the love you have consciously decided to cherish. God bless you.

Thomas J. Cummins is an entrepreneur / motivational / inspirational seeker for a better way of life for one and all to enjoy. I know you desire a better way of life and would like to know more about incredible resources both free and not; so go right ahead and contact me at incaalpacatrail@hotmail.com for more information Warmest regards.

Thomas J. Cummins

Love - How to Say Goodbye Forever With Class

2008-03-16T07:43:00.001-07:00

By Christina Sponias

When you don't feel for the other person what you used to feel, or when you realize that you never really felt anything for them, but that you only had the impression that they were somehow special and ideal for you, you have to put an end to the relationship.

Without love, what are you doing with him or her? Just living together? If you feel alone while you are with that supposedly special person, you had better really stay alone, and be free to find the right person for you.

Now, the other person loves you. They are "going to die" if you abandon them, and things like that. How can you leave them without being insensitive, rude and cruel?

Of course, you have the right to be free, even if you are married. You can get a divorce. Many times this is necessary, even though we should avoid it if possible.

If you are free and you are simply having a romance, or you are engaged, things are much easier.

If you are married and, especially if you have kids, things are totally different. You have to wait and care about the kids above all. You have to be very serious and responsible. But, you are not a slave. Today, a divorce is a very simple matter, apart from the pain it causes to everyone. At least you are not obliged to bear the mistake you made in getting married when you were too young, for the rest of your life. You are not a prisoner.

I advise you to think carefully about your decisions if you are free, because when you get married things are different from the time when you didn't have obligations. With the wedding, various complications start in your life.

This is why today it is very common to see couples that simply live together instead of getting married.

However, if you want to have a family, you need a wedding. You have to enter into the pattern and follow the rituals, otherwise your relationship will not be as stable. On the other hand, nothing is stable, and perhaps another kind of relationship could be better. There is no recipe for success... Each case is different.

If you want to separate after living with a person for so long, things are very hard, even if you are not married. In this case, you probably feel that your relationship is routine, with no excitement, and this is why you want to be free. If you live with your companion as if you have been married for years, without actually being married, then it's time to wake up and ask yourself if this is what you want from your relationship.

You are tired and you don't know if you love the other person or not. If you have such doubt after many years, this is probably because you don't really love them.

Now, if you have such doubts after a short period of time, things are not so definite. Are you sure you really don't like them? Or are you simply sad, disappointed, and wanting to get rid of the feeling you feel for them? Be sure before you do anything.

If you are sure you want to separate from this person, be sincere. Don't keep them waiting and waiting for a special occasion, the right moment, a favourable situation etc. You have to be delicate but also objective. If you have made your decision, you must advise the other party without delaying forever, because then, when you do find the right person for you, you will suddenly abandon them and this will be considered a betrayal.

If you are not with the person that is supposedly your love, then define your position, because your heart is free and could belong to somebody else, while you are still in the problematic relationship, and then things will be complicated.

You had better tell them what is happening to you. First tell them, and wait. Continue to be with them for a while, as if nothing had happened.

Then, after a few days, talk about this matter again. Explain to them your feelings, ideas, plans, beliefs, everything. Talk with them for hours about everything. Feel sad because this is happening to you both or pretend to be sad if you are not, only because you will hurt the other person if you are cold, and tell them that you want to be free "right now".

Don't fight with them, don't blame them for anything and don't talk about the past or other situations that could get you off the subject.

Be kind and gentle. Tell them that you are going to miss them, but that you need to be alone, that you don't feel good about your relationship. Perhaps it's your fault, perhaps you will meet them again in the future and you'll be together again, but you don't want to continue right now.

You need air, space, freedom and meditation.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere. Learn more at: http://www.booksirecommend.com

Click here and download your copy of the Free ebook
Beating Depression and Craziness